Invincible Under The Sun
by blueprintLV
Summary: As a kid, Issei found out that Irina was moving away. He promised her he'd find a way to stop it. Instead, Irina asked of him to become an exorcist, like she would. He agreed, promising to become the best exorcist the world has ever seen. Some childhood promises are better left unfulfilled.
1. Rain

**''INVINCIBLE UNDER THE SUN''**

 ** _PART 0_**

 ** _PROLOGUE_**

 _We met at the cherry tree behind the park. It was quite a bit away from home, but it meant that most kids didn't come here, so we could have the place for ourselves. Those few weeks, in the shade, we spent more time together than ever._

 _Back then, Irina didn't want to play with me and was perpetually sad. So I pried and pried, until she finally spilled the news._

 _She was to move away. Halfway across the world, to a foreign country, one in which she didn't speak the language. Her father, a priest, had done something bad. She didn't know what exactly, but she knew exactly who to blame for this sudden change in her life._

 _And in mine, too. Turns out, Irina had a crush on me. And I did on her, too. We were just kids though, so we remained together, there under that tree, holding hands._

 _Her small, slender fingers grasping my own, a perpetual warmth to my child's heart. Even though she was a real tomboy - upbeat, happy and always ready to rumble, she wasn't like that in those last few weeks together. She'd sometimes cry, when she thought I wasn't looking._

 _I promised her I'd not let her leave, I promised I'd go with her. Those promises, back then, I was ready to commit. I was ready to do everything for her. I even asked her to run away with me, but of course, we didn't get far._

 _It was the lunch break on a Friday, when we sneaked out. My conviction filled eyes turned wide like dinner plates when I was grabbed by a police officer, a few train stations later. A pair of children running around the city, out of breath and holding hands in a middle of a school day was a sight for sore eyes. And for curious eyes, a reason to question us._

 _Like that, our plan failed spectacularly. My parents were more angry about my foolishness, rather than at me. For Irina's side, I had no idea. I never met her parents. The next time I saw her, it was a Sunday evening, behind that same cherry tree. I sat there, quietly looking at the other kids. At the complete lack of problems they had and was envious. I wanted to kick the ball too, but I had made a promise to Irina. This was now my burden to bear, I was convicted, even then, as a kid._

 _The other kids came and went, getting bored of kicking ball, yet I remained. The sun was setting, the wind ruffling my messy hair._

 _''...Issei.''_

 _I heard, that cheerful voice from behind me._

 _Irina was smiling, that childish glow returned to her eyes. I remained silent, at this weird change in her demeanor._

 _''It's all right. I'm gonna become a exorcist!'' she shouted, throwing her small fist in the air._

 _''A what?'' I asked her, unsure._

 _At that, she explained that she would become a person who would defeat demons and devils, wicked beasts from the tales and books._

 _''So it's alright.''_

 _''What is?''_

 _''I can go to London. I'll become a hero,'' she said, smiling from ear to ear, her tomboyish attitude taken over. ''You don't have to stop my parents.''_

 _''Huh? But I promised that I'll find a way-!''_

 _She cut me off, placing her slender finger at my lips. I blushed scarlet._

 _''It's fine. I want to go, myself.''_

 _She stated, smiling at me. This wasn't a fake smile, but a bright, true smile. Even the spring in her step had returned, as she stepped back away from me, giggling._

 _And I remained quiet, not saying the words that I so desperately wanted her to hear._

 _''I brought a ball. Want to kick it around?''_

 _She said, bringing her hand through her short hair and spinning around._

 _She was wearing her usual jean shorts and the off-pink colored t-shirt with an shoujo anime character on it. She kicked the ball at me, so I bounced it off my chest, letting it land it between us._

 _''Everyone else already left,'' I said, looking away._

 _''I want to play with you, though,'' she said, giving me a cheeky smile._

 _''...What can we even play on our own?''_

 _''There,'' she said, pointing her finger at the swing set. On one of the chairs, sat an empty can of a soft drink. ''Let's see who can hit the can without hitting anything else.''_

 _''That's easy,'' - I said, smiling at her, ready to prove my kicking abilities. ''What will I get, for winning, of course?''_

 _''Ah, that's a secret, hehe~!'' She shielded her face with her palm. ''But I'm pretty sure I'll win. Remember last time we played?''_

 _''That,'' I shouted. ''Was just a bad day for me! Trust me.''_

 _''Suuuure...''_

 _She laughed, and nodded, for me to kick first._

A loud voice shouted from the direction of the clashing swords. Eyes trailing after them, he watched the two people in black clothes fight the erratically moving person. Too fast, too strong, too wild. Inhuman. Bloodied, cut, bruised, but screaming and swinging against them with the ferocity of a berserker, a sword in each hand. A fury of swinging and deflecting went on, as he remained there, letting the rain wash over his cold, frozen statue.

''Oy, Shinji, kid's still alive!'' The girl in the black screamed midst swing. ''Issei, get up! Get up!''

Only then did he remember. Her voice brought back some pieces of his scattered brain. Juuzou Rio, the girl screaming was his teammate. The other person fighting was Sasaki Shinji , the oldest of them tree. They were given orders to check a ''pressing'' matter of the Church, about missing people in the country side, that related to a ''monster'' taking them alive. This ''urgent matter'' was reported repeatedly by an old Christian woman, living alone near a forest. And this forest, was near a small fishing village. They had been sent to investigate, so they could kindly (legally) tell the woman to screw off. Something about training Shinji's ability to lead a small team.

They did agree, and after that, Issei's mind was in shambles. A blank picture, and only a ringing headache. He understood that his head had been hit. He tried to get up, but stumbled back to the ground, barely holding down the reflex to vomit. As he remained in that half-kneeling, half-standing position, he checked on his equipment. Pistol and two magazines were missing, so obviously, he had tried to fight back, before being knocked out. His knees dig into the the wet grass. The only thing around them were the sparse trees.

He bit down, his teeth creaking, before standing up. Shaking knees, he looked at the monster. Rio was quickly jumping around, dodging and trying to get in hits when she could, while Shinji was taking the brunt of the attack, full on locked in a duel with the monster, sparks flying as they clashed. He reached into his coat, throwing a grenade between them.

The monster cut it apart, as it exploded into a flash of water and vapor. The monster jumped back, screaming in pain, his skin sizzling. Issei stumbled over to them, as they locked eyes. Nodding to each other, they got into formation.

''Mid-lower class, we think,'' Shinji said, already knowing what Issei wanted to hear, as he threw away his dark coat. Too heavy with the rainwater.

''...Where's my gun?''

''Destroyed,'' Rio spoke, glancing sideways at him. Her eyes were sharp, almost shining in the dusky light. A katana in her arm, she cracked her shoulder. Her statue shone in the rain, clad in the exorcist body suit, with only a tank top and gym shorts above them. Her dark hair stuck to her face, as she kept staring at the monster. Only a few seconds passed, before he had recovered, running straight at them once again. There was no time to speak.

Issei chucked another grenade of holy water before he fell back, as Shinji took the front, Rio - the flank. Issei stood back, pulling out a knife, cursing out his inability to fight.

He stood, staring down the monster. If you excluded the inhuman scars, then you could almost mistake him for a human. His muscle bulging, Issei assumed from using his power. Once again, Shinji and the monster clashed in a standstill of swinging swords. Rio, almost literally, flew past the beast, her katana cleaving through the monster's side, crimson flying in an arc, as she slid across the moist grass.

''DODGE!''

Issei roared, as the monster _threw_ one of his swords at her. Rio jumped face first forwards, as the sword barreled down the range, above her, catching her in the side. Blood splattered, turning his, ice cold. Without thinking, he flung the knife in his hand at the monster, soaring through the rain, it hit the monster in the shoulder, staying there. The monster remained unhindered, as it kept pushing back Shinji.

Issei scoffed, his eyes narrow slits, as he dashed towards Rio. Ragged breathing, he slid over his knees, grabbing her side. She screamed in pain, as their eyes met. Saliva splattered, as Issei mounted her, keeping the older girl in one place, as he looked at the wound. It was deep, had cracked a rib, but not reached any organs. She was bleeding, as Issei began to think, at a million thoughts per second. He ripped his sleeve, with shaking hands trying to tear it to one single strip. She protested, flailing her arms at him, as he tore off her tank top, scrunching it up and pressing it against her wound. Her now only body-suit covered chest moved up and down sporadically. She flailed harder, as he kept it there, before getting off her, and trying to tie his make shift bandage around her thin midsection.

A gurgle of a scream came, as his blood froze, again.

The monster was coming at him. A sword sticking out of his side, Shinji a considerate distance away, clutching his broken arm. He understood, that Shinji had tried to take him down, but could only trade blows - coming out as the one who no longer could stand.

''H-hold it!''

He shouted at Rio, stuttering, as he stood up, facing the coming monster. His mind shorted, trying to think. The monster had become slower, not running at him. The wounds given to him were _hurting_ the monster. He scoffed, his eyes going wide. The monster wasn't at his full power. Not even close. If it was like this, then _maybe_.

He slowly moved to the side, trying to get away from Rio. The monster began to run, uneven steps, as he dashed to the side, grabbing inside his coat with both hands. He blinked, and a sword was coming at his stomach, the monster already in range. As the monster was halfway in his baseball bat-like swing of his sword, Issei's arms pulled out, his fingers interlaced with pins.

The sword struck his stomach, and both of them were enveloped by an explosion of water and fumes. Issei flew backwards through the air, hitting the ground with a thud. The monster's sword went flying in some other direction. After rolling a few times, he hit a tree with his back and vomited his lunch, shaking. His ribs were broken, he could barely breathe, but he wasn't sliced apart. Under his now cut black exorcist coat, a half broken, bent scale mail armor covered his chest. The armor, that had saved his life. He would have laughed, but he was too scared. The monster was screaming in pain, flailing around, the sword out of his hands. His skin burning, the holy water boiling him alive. How many grenades had he used just then? And still, it wasn't enough.

The hard beating of his heart hurt his head. It was overpowering, loud. He couldn't even hear anything else anymore.

He barely got up, stumbling, as he ran right at the monster, his holy cross in hand. The monster, flailing around like mad, hit him in the face, as he failed to dodge. Falling downwards, he grabbed onto his leg, punching the monster in the crotch.

He, together with the monster's leg, hit the ground, as he kneed Issei in the stomach. He screamed in pain, howling. He started to flail his fists, feeling the pressure of his scale mail bend around his stomach. The monster bit down at him, but instead of his face, Issei raised his left arm to block. Saliva splattered, his blood splattered, as the monster gnawed on his arm. Something _crunched_ inside. He felt the bones grind, his eyes upturned into his skull, as he simply screamed in agony.

He couldn't even think, as his right arm, together with his golden cross, just kept punching something, anything, until eventually, it reached straight into the monster's wound. The monster's jaws lightened slightly, but did not release. Issei flailed his body under the monster, to no avail.

''OFF!,'' he screamed. ''HELP ME!''

Seconds passed, and nothing happened. He kept screaming in pain, holding the monster at bay. He gave up hope, his strength fading.

 _Fine_ , he thought, _a very fitting end. This is what I get for being this arrogant._

Then, a river of blood splattered all over Issei, as the weight of the monster fell on top of him, as he didn't stop screaming. The head of the monster was separated from his body, but the head was still attached to his arm by the sharp teeth inside it's mouth. Rio stood above him, holding her katana, dirty with blood, in one hand, her other hand clutching her side. She raised her head at the sky, screaming.

''I AM...INVINCIBLE UNDER THE SUN!''

However, there was no sun to be found there. Only overcast, dark clouds.

After a few seconds, her wandering mind came back, and she helped push the monster's body off of him, together with Issei's flailing, and then got on top of him, calmed him down the same way that he had done to her, and tore the bodiless head away from his bleeding arm. Tears flowing from his eyes, he tried to find holy water, to disinfect the wound.

''Calm down, calm down, it's fine, it's fine, you're fine!'' Rio shouted, searching through his coat. He was such a mess, flailing around, panicking.

He almost blacked out from the pain, when the holy water hit his arms. Shinji dropped to his knees next to him, one arm bent into a wrong direction, the other holding a phone, he was quickly speaking.

''Ambulance?''

''Yes!''

Issei didn't respond to that, he just kept flailing around, in pain. He wanted for it to stop. He wanted for the pain to disappear. _He_ wanted to disappear.

''What, what do we do now?'' - Rio shouted at Shinji, who shook his head.

''He's the most medic out of us three!'' - Shinji responded. ''Try to calm him down and pray for the ambulance to arrive quickly.''

Issei wanted to shout at them to stop the bleeding, to get his armor off him, but he couldn't. His throat was too busy screaming in pain. His eyes, as wide as they could go, looked at the falling raindrops. It was starting to die down, the rain, that was.

Where was he?

Ah, right. That memory.

 _I kicked the ball. It was white with red spots, as it flew through the autumn wind, curved. It missed the empty can by a foot, soaring past it, and hitting a fence behind it. It clanged loudly, and Irina chuckled, as I blushed a bit more._

 _''Just warming up!'' - I said, crossing my hands across my chest._

 _''You completely flubbed it!'' Irina shouted, coming back with the ball. She kicked it up in the air, bouncing it off her knee a few times, showing off her agility, before kicking at the can, but she missed, too._

 _I laughed at her, trying to hit it again._

 _And we played like that, for what seemed like forever. That simple goal, that was hard to execute, kept us laughing. The park lights had come on, and the sun had already set, when the con of coffee went flying through the air, hitting the ground with a clang._

 _It was I, who hit it. Fist pumping the air, I let out a loud scream of victory, standing proud, my chest extended outwards. But it deflated, after a small chuckle. It took us so long to hit it, that it was obvious that my success was just a fluke. Irina dropped into the grass, looking at the night sky. I stood there, glancing at her._

 _''...When are you leaving?''_

 _''Real soon.''_

 _I remained quiet._

 _''...Are you sad?''_

 _''Yeah,'' I responded, honestly. This was the end of the line, and I knew that, even back then. There was no need to hide it._

 _She flushed red at that answer, asking me to sit down on the grass. I did, next to her, crossing my legs. She sat up, too._

 _''I'm sad to leave this place, too,'' - she spoke, smiling bitterly. ''But I'm also happy for the future.''_

 _The wind rustled our hair, blowing gently. The silence between us was only complemented by the low rumble of cars in the distance. Irina sat, her slender legs crossed._

 _''...You know, Irina. I like you.''_

 _I wonder which one of us was more red. Because of her leaving, speaking so honestly was easy. Our eyes met, before quickly moving away in embarrassment._

 _''I know.''_

 _''I promised that you won't have to leave, but well...that kind of failed...I failed.''_

 _She gave those words a small chuckle, ''It's fine, honestly.''_

 _The truth was that I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want for our ''secret'' relationship to end. I loved the aspect of it. Everyday felt like a mission. We were scheming, hiding, creating plans. It wasn't a game for us. The days passed with just us two, trying to complete the goal of ''Irina not leaving for forever''. That forever, being whatever how long, since we were kids._

 _''Right, I didn't give you the prize for winning,'' she said, not looking at me._

 _''Ho, 'bout time!''_

 _''Close your eyes.''_

 _''You're not gonna do anything weird, right?''_

 _''No,'' she said, so I closed my eyes. For a few seconds, all I could hear and feel was the gentle wind. Then, I felt her slender fingers envelop my head. I didn't say a word, and neither did she._

 _After a few seconds, she kissed me on the lips. It was just a small peck, filled with nothing but childhood innocence, and she quickly jumped back, her clothing rustling, her fingers softly sliding over my bright red cheeks._

 _When I opened my eyes, she was standing with her back to me, her arms behind her back, fingers interlocked._

 _''Say, if you want to help me...become an exorcist, too.''_

 _And thus, I agreed._

 _''Sure,'' I said, smirking. ''I'll become the best exorcist this world has ever seen!''_

 _When she turned around, I saw the brightest smile in the whole world. The sun was no match for her. Her violet eyes sparkled, wind ruffling her hair._

 _''It's a promise!'' she shouted, throwing her hand in the air, playfully. After a few seconds, she lowered it, and scrunched up her face. ''It's about time I leave. Don't want for my parents to come running again.''_

 _I sighed with great force, to show her how I felt about her leaving._

 _She laughed, calling me a dummie, and waved goodbye._

 _''Bye!''_

 _She twirled around like a turntable, raising her finger at me, ''Not ''bye!'', but ''see you!'', since we'll be meeting here tomorrow!''_

 _Grinning, I responded with a proper ''see you!''_

 _And she made a cute mhmph sound as she nodded, ''See you!''_

With a violent shake, he inhaled sharply. His eyes wide, he was disoriented, he didn't know where he was. Only pain responded, as he looked around. He coughed in pain, trying to grab his stomach, but the cast blocked him from doing so.

Hospital. He realized, after a few seconds of his mind drawing a blank. Slowly, he looked around. Rio was sleeping in the next bed across from him, quietly breathing. Her modest chest moved up and down, slowly, calmly. Very differently, than in that fight. Outside the window, only darkness, mixed with lights from buildings afar. A red sky, from the light pollution. A gown on his body, his holy cross around his neck, and pain, too much pain. Too much pain, for his small body to bear.

He closed his eyes, hoping for better days.

* * *

The doctor sat down in a chair, next to the bed. The room smelled of disinfectant. Issei looked at him a blank expression. Two men from the church stood at the doors, while the four bed room was empty, with only him in it. Rio was gone.

''So, how are you feeling today?''

''Fine.''

The doctor nodded, taking a pen in his hand. He glanced at Issei, then at his clipboard, and then he softy sighed.

''You were in quite a big accident, we could call it, and there a few things that we need to talk about. You hurt your head. You remember that?''

He nodded. His head was still ringing.

''Alright. Before we start, please state your full name, date of birth and your exorcist's ID number.''

Issei glanced at the church men standing at the doors. They didn't say a word. Issei swallowed his saliva.

''Issei Hyoudou. 24th of December, 1998. Exorcist in Training, Osaka branch, ID number 13-009720.''

He nodded, curtly, ''In the timeline, you don't remember a lot of what happened that night.''

Issei nodded, ''I only remember what happened after I woke up from when my head was hit.''

''That's understandable. Is there anything you don't seem to recall?''

''No. Only that small part feels like it never happened.''

''Alright. Here, take this,'' The doctor gave him a few paper sheets. ''Please, read them, and confirm that this is how it happened.''

Issei looked down, his dull eyes tracing over the computer printed lines. He skipped the beginning, until the part where he woke up. Everything was there, to the very last detail. How he screamed and cried in pain, how he was flung around, how he was beat down, how his arm was crunched.

''It's word for word.''

The doctor nodded, taking back those papers. Issei looked at ''the doctor'', once again. He was wearing a white coat, but didn't have a badge with a name. He asked specifically about exorcist related things. He wasn't a regular person, so probably a higher up from the church.

''What's the big deal, anyways?''

''Issei-kun. We take these kinds of accidents very seriously. A group of young exorcists-in-training had no reason to be in such a situation. It was the fault of the Osaka branch church, that you had this happen to you and your exorcist classmates. As I understand, this was your first experience in a non-simulated battle?''

He nodded.

''All things considered, you did well. The most important part is that you didn't freeze, or run. You did not lose your bearings. You acted to the best of your abilities. The courage to act is more important than theory.''

There was a silence for a while. Issei coughed, and then, awkwardly, thanked the man.

''...Alright. We will sort out this negligence of the church, I promise that. It pains me to see exorcists hurt, not to mention those who've yet to grow and become ones. Be careful. That arm will heal and be functional, but it will leave scars.''

Issei nodded, ''Thank you, doctor.''

''God bless you.''

With another court nod, the man and his entourage left. Silence filled the room. Suffocating it even, but the doors opened once more after a few minutes. A nurse came in, with a small smile on her face.

''Good morning, Issei-kun,'' she nodded.

He nodded, his eyes narrowing, ''When can I get out?''

She froze up for a second, ''Well, the doctor orders are for you to remain in bed for a few more days. Broken ribs are dangerous, you know...''

He nodded.

''Already want to run around?'' she asked, smirking a bit.

''No, actually,'' he sighed. ''I want to rest.''

''I understand,'' the nurse changed the saline bag hanging near his bed. ''We see it all the time, around here. Exorcists getting hurt, over and over again. Must be a difficult situation to be in, huh...''

The woman looked at him, looking at bruised face, his wrapped, bandaged and placed in a cast arm, and their eyes met for a few seconds, before Issei's darted away.

''Well, if you need anything, please do call for us.''

Lingering for a few seconds more in the silence, she left the room, and Issei slid back into his bed, from his sitting position. His unusable arm wrapped around the one in the cast, as he hugged himself, turning to the side. It hurt, but he grit his teeth.

After all, he was still afraid. In shock. His small body trembled. The scene of battle didn't escape his mind.

* * *

A few days passed. No one visited.

And thus, as he stood outside the hospital, rainfall had come, once again. The cars passed, their lights blaring past him. The halos from lights seemed even more exaggerated than before. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he sighed. Had his vision grown even weaker?

A long shiver ran across his spine, so he grabbed into the cast. His left arm rested at his side, in a sling, numb. The doctor had stated that it was normal. He had promised that the arm would work like normal.

A hand on his shoulder, grabbing into it strongly. He jumped in place, startled out of his thoughts.

''Yo,'' Rio stood there, a transparent umbrella rested against her shoulder, covering her from the rain. Her cat-like, black eyes narrowed a bit, as she stared at Issei's crooked statue.

He glanced downwards, at her legs. The black school uniform skirt reached to almost her ankles. Black boots on her feet, that was where the school uniform ended. Above, a wool sweater, a few sizes too big, dark blue. The neckband of it was wide and free, as it hanged on her shoulders, showing her collar bones. They were beautiful, in a way Issei had never seen. As if made by the skillful arms of a sculptor. Under the sweater, she was wearing a black shirt, and around her neck - a golden cross.

Her face was perfectly symmetrical. A serious face, framed by shoulder length black hair with a straight fringe at the front, that hid her ears.

''Were you lonely?'' Her relaxed voice was soft and gentle, quiet even, seemingly one that would belong to a small, fragile girl, not the tall, slender girl that she was.

Issei nodded, looking at the passing cars. A few seconds later, he felt her arms around him, a warm embrace. Issei blushed a bit, as Rio patted his head. His hair was wet, and so was her hand. He had stood in the rain, getting drenched, but she didn't mind.

''There, there...'' she whispered. ''I just got back from the Tokyo branch. Shinji's still there. Such a pain.''

''Everything alright?'' Issei asked, as Rio let him go.

She blinked and nodded, scrunching up her face, before turning to walk, as Issei followed.

''As I understood it, the main branch gave our branch an ass-whooping for their ''negligence'' in this case.''

Issei let out a small laugh. They didn't talk much at all after that, on the way back to the monastery. Issei seemed to be spacing out, while Rio sat next to him, looking over his shoulder, at the passing scenery. It was bleak.

The monastery was in the outskirts of Osaka. Even if it was popular for the nightlife and tourists, the monastery, and the small city that it was built in, was quiet and peaceful. For the most part.

From the outsiders perspective, the large group of Christians was a great thing. Not only did they do charity work, clean up, and help the people overall, but their presence brought in business for everyone there. Shops and restaurants that before had been left to slowly die away, were reinvigorated and bloomed to new highs.

After getting off the bus, they stepped inside one of the restaurants, taking their rather regular spots, ordering the regular bowl of oden each. It was near winter, after all. Issei ate, quickly. The bowl's contents disappeared, along with the fresh, warm aroma. While waiting for a bowl of rice noodles, Issei looked around. A subdued feeling lingered in the oldschool building. They had arrived in a particular time, between lunchtime and the after work rush. When a couple left, they remained the only customers there.

Rio held her chopsticks in one hand, her narrow eyes looking to the side.

''What now?''

Issei leaned back, his eyes as narrow as hers. Unfocused, as if not seeing clearly, ''I'm screwed right now. My plans have been messed up.''

''...Which ones?''

She asked, taking a piece of meat from her bowl, and chomping it down, unlady like.

''Graduating next year. I'm sure I can pass the written test if I continue studying, but the psychical, that...I'm pathetic.''

Rio glanced at him, so Issei looked away.

''That fight...I was so afraid,'' Issei raised his hand, trying to stop it from shaking, but it didn't listen. ''I can't get the image of his strength out of my mind. The feeling of his teeth sinking into me, the reek of his breath. And worst of all, the lack of power I have.''

''...you did fine, for what you have and are.''

Issei chuckled, with a straight face, ''You know the worst part? I don't know if I would have the courage to attack, had my head not been knocked. When I got up, I didn't even realize where I was, or who I was. I was so disorientated, that I didn't think and attacked.''

He grasped his damaged arm, ''Had I thought for just a moment, I'm not sure if I could actually commit myself to attack.''

''That's fine,'' Rio spoke, emotionless. ''The fact that you could move and attack when everything went to shit means that all the training you've been through actually works. You either freeze up, or you start moving mechanically, like a machine.''

Issei didn't answer, hiding his face behind his arm. A single brown eye shone through the bruised fingers, unfocused at a single place. A while later, the waitress brought 2 bowls of noodles.

''Eat up,'' Rio spoke, pushing one of the bowls towards him with her chopsticks.

With slow movements, Issei raised the noodles, cutting them apart with his chopsticks, put them in his mouth, chewed them and swallowed, mechanically. He repeated the action until the bowl was empty. He put his chopsticks pararel to the bowl, and glanced at Rio.

''...How can I become strong?''

''Huh?'' She widened her eyes, mid bite.

''I mean it. What can I do, to become strong? What is a way that would work for me, talentless, small kid?''

''...I wonder. I recommend picking up a sword.''

Issei sighed, as Rio continued to eat, ''Of course you would. You use it. Your parents used it. I already have a gun.''

''Who says you can't have both?'' Rio narrowed her glance at Issei, raising one of slender fingers, pointing it at him. ''Because as you said, if you don't have a Sacred Gear, don't have some kind of natural talent, and you don't have the blessing of a God, then you can't do anything about it. You can only train till you puke blood. So then, pick up a sword.''

''...I can't afford it. I have to replace my armor, as well.''

''About that. I take back everything bad I ever said about it.''

Issei sighed softly. Had it not been for his chain mail armor, he clearly understood that he would have been skewered, his enthralls scattered and his life forfeit. Even now, sitting in a restaurant, he felt naked without it.

''But I'm serious, Issei,'' Rio spoke his name, as if to assure him. ''I can teach you. Full fledged exorcists are given both a gun and a sword. Any exorcist worth his salt has mastered both.''

Issei chuckled, his eyebrows upturned.

''...What are you afraid of?''

''Failure, Rio,'' Issei met her eyes. ''I can barely keep up with others without the added stress of training with a sword. I'm doing my best, but I'll shatter soon.''

Rio sighed, putting her chopsticks on top of the empty bowl of food.

''...I'm just a fucking kid in over his head.''

Issei's face scrunched up, as he brought his hand through his messy hair. His eyes tightly shut, he laughed for a second. His head hurt, bringing back memories.

That story, about Irina...

The next day, when they were supposed to meet, Irina never came. He waited till over midnight, only going home when the cold became unbearable. Irina's house was already empty when he went there the next day after.

She just disappeared, without a word said. Without a letter, a note.

''I started this whole thing because I wanted to chase after a girl, you know. I wanted this. I was sure I could handle it. But the more I push, the more I understand that I am nothing. Just a fucking nobody with delusions of grandeur...''

Rio stood up and punched Issei in the mouth. He recoiled, almost falling over, but caught onto the table.

''...You're just a kid, right. Barely 13 years old. We fought a demon, and we won. You held him off, as I cut off his head with my sword. I swung hard and without seeing. I decided to trust my own ability to not take your head off along with the demon's own. And I succeeded. I'm a kid too. I'm barely 14, but you don't hear me whining. I was afraid too. Your screams of pain were _horrifying_. The worst thing I've heard in my life...''

Issei stood there, tasting blood in his mouth.

''C'mon, look me in the eye,'' Rio's eyes softened.

Issei's eyes darted around the restaurant, before meeting hers. She wasn't angry. A glance that was more understanding, than anything else.

''I don't want to hear you scream like that ever again. We'll have to train harder. The demon we killed wouldn't even be a threat to a normal exorcist. I'll give you a spare sword. We'll grow up, become strong. So c'mon. Stop whining.''

Issei laughed a bit, partly because of how out of character Rio was being. He was truly thankful. He swallowed a chunk of blood. They hadn't talked about their pasts too much, but certain things slipped past when spending that much time together. They had been a ''group of three'' for more than a year. In no way, shape or form was Rio this positive and upbeat of a person. But she was putting up a front for Issei, because he needed it.

He was the dead-last, talentless child, who barely had gotten in. Rio was strong, but reprimanded and held back for violating various rules, for violent outbursts, disobeying orders...and then there was Shinji, the one who had talent and was on a fast track to becoming an exorcist, but had been put with them two, as their leader, as the person, whose assignment was to pull up them two alongside himself.

''Invincible under the sun, huh...'' - Issei spoke, sighing softly.

Rio blushed slightly, ''You heard that? That's embarrassing.''

However, he knew that it was enough, that it was time to stop moping around. And that Rio obviously didn't want to speak about her scream, after the battle, so he left it there, and didn't pry any further.

''Thanks. When I get like that, please punch me again.''

''Sure,'' Rio spoke, letting out a boyish laugh. ''With pleasure, you emo brat.''

''Shall we go?''

She nodded, exiting the restaurant with Issei in tow.

He could feel his face getting hot, knowing that it would get swollen.

''...I want to train.''

He said, looking at his damaged hand. With a sharp exhale, he flexed it, forming a fist. The burning pain scolded his nerves, but he didn't let out a sound.

The pain proved that he survived a real attack, from a real devil. His eyes narrowed, he looked to the side.

He saw himself, in the reflection of a large window. Eyes that didn't hide contempt. His hair messy and all over the place. Black pants, their ends stuffed into his brown boots. The dark gray undershirt that was too long could be seen underneath his black hoodie, half-way zipped up. His injured hand hanged under the hoodie, while the empty sleeve weaved in the wind. His golden cross hanged above it all, like a pair of dogtags. His face was still black and blue, his nose slightly swollen. It hurt to breathe. His whole body felt weak from the days of sleeping around and hospital food.

This was not how a 13 year old should look like.

 _''...May God save us all.''_

He thought, turning his vision back to the street. Rio was glancing at him, from further away. She looked at him with her usual stare, her head slightly downcast, her eyes staring through her eyebrows. She was using her umbrella as a cane, leaning on it lightly.

Both of them knew, that they did not look like believers of God, harbors of Good will. And they both accepted it, since he was the fuck up dead last, and she was the delinquent.

* * *

 _Writer's notes._

 _Well, we meet again. I'm at a particular place in life at the moment, so. It feels like my life has been on a downwards slope ever since I finished Broken Wings. But anyways._

 _Issei as an exorcist. The idea is very simple, but I don't think there are that many that focus on it. I'll try to, but as those who have read my old stories know, I go off the rails, add characters and completely deform the original story. We start at Issei, age 13, reminiscing about Irina, as he lays unconscious on a field, as his two ''teammates'' battle a low level devil. There are many, many things to be revealed. They shall be, but as the plot moves forward. I have taken liberties on Exorcist training from Ao no Exorcist, I guess._

 _Meet Juuzou Rio and Sasaki Shinji._

 _Anyways, hope you enjoyed, please leave a review, if you did._


	2. The Star-Eyed Exorcist

**_PART 1_**

 ** _''THE BLACK GOAT'S EGG''_**

 ** _CHAPTER 1:The Star-Eyed Exorcist_**

His feet hit the pavement in a regular, controlled rhythm. It was snowing. As if in low gravity, the large flakes fell slowly, and it was Issei who hit the flakes, not them falling on him. It was still dark outside even though it was past 7 am.

For what seemed like past years, Issei never skipped morning running. If he wasn't dying, he was running every morning. The single mile that he started to run when he was a small boy had turned into miles. He could run a marathon and still be fine for the day afterwards. However, running took a long time, so he had settled on an about a 5 mile run around the city and through a forest trail. With his brisk pace came the elevation changes and change in his footing, providing a good enough simulation of real-life battle situation.

With gray shorts, black running leggings under them and a hoodie too large for him, his face was half-way hidden from view. His pace increased, as he turned off from the road, into the forest. The trail he ran only had a single pair of steps crunched into the snow. As with his pace, his breathing increased, letting out small clouds of warm air. He felt his heart beat inside his chest. It was a powerful, methodical heartbeat, like a clock.

As he jumped over a fallen tree, he touched the ground, sliding his fingers over the snow, it stinging his warm flesh. He increased his pace even more, coming close to an uphill section, dashing upwards in a single breath's inhale, and turning off away from the trail, running through the fresh snow, his sneakers dirtying with a mix of white and dark brown. Dashing between branches and trees, came upon a river and ran along it, splashing water over his clothes, but he didn't care for it. After a while, he quickly turned to the side, grabbed into a branch overhead and threw himself over the small river, almost running on all fours as he landed.

With an expression of anger, he dashed even faster, as he noticed the abandoned building in the distance. His pace was so fast, that he reached the end of the forest in a matter of seconds, using a single swipe of his arm to break through the branches, as he jumped upwards, grabbed the fence that separated the forest from the man-made land, and pushed himself over.

As he landed, he lost his footing, quickly turning his shoulder and rolling along the ground, in trained reflex. He didn't get up, instead he sat in the snow, his breathing and heartbeat remaining as strong and fast as before.

He lowered his head to his knees, scrunching up his face, simply breathing in the cold air. His whole body was sweaty. It had began to become light out. He looked at the winter sky as he waited for his breath to come back.

He hated running.

People assumed that a person who ran as much as him would of course love it.

He hated it with all of his heart. It was masochism. His feet would hurt. He hated getting up in the morning to run. He hated his layers on layers of dead skin covering his feet. He hated to spend the little money he had on new shoes every couple of months. The only part about running he liked was how he felt afterwards. So of course, after such a rush, he was now wide awake. The only person to who he complained to was himself.

He looked around the abandoned site. Before it had been some kind of a sawmill. It didn't matter much, only the fact that it was completely desolate and empty. Not one person had a single speck of interest in it. A large factory in the far end, a driveway of crumbled asphalt leading to it, and a large administration building to the side. The buildings themselves were grayish-white, most of their windows shattered out by the hooligan youth.

And Issei himself, when he was younger.

Issei got up, ruffling his clothing to get rid of the snow. He stretched a bit as he walked towards the factory, entering using the small side doors.

Rio stood in the middle of the large, empty space wearing clothes that mirrored Issei's. Her running shorts and leggings were black, her hoodie gray. She had made a bonfire in the middle, warming up.

''Yo~!'' Issei waved, smiling.

''Yoh,'' She nodded upwards, not moving her body even a millimeter. Her dark eyes reflected the bonfire, as Issei moved close to it.

This was their training spot, had been for a long while now.

''Shinji not coming?''

''No. Upper management called him.''

Issei didn't pry more, raising his hands to the fire. He could move his fingers and wrist freely, for the most part now. Only a makeshift half-cast was around his wrist to the elbow. While it did impede movement, his hand was usable.

Some few weeks had passed since the accident with the devil.

As he warmed up, he realized how cold and numb his feet were. His running shoes were drenched from the snow, of course. He moved his toes around, his eyes closed, just lost in thought.

His heartbeat was already calm. He felt the hot blood circulate his body. He felt on his toes. He felt aware. Turning his head to look at Rio, she was already stretching. Her left leg raised straight upwards, she was squeezing it closer to her chest, all while standing on a single leg. Lowering the leg to the ground, she lowered her head, along with her glance. Her legs began to move away from each other, as she sat down on the ground. Issei looked as she performed a perfect leg split, and then lowered her body against the ground, her arms stretched forwards.

Like a dancer, like a gymnast, Rio was ridiculously flexible.

Issei bounced on his heels, like a boxer, shaking out his shoulders. He had stretched earlier, before running. His stretching routine consisted of simple stretches, nothing as impressive as her. He was lost in thoughts, when Rio called out his name. Holding two training swords, one in each hand, she threw the one she held in her left hand at Issei, who caught it by simply raising his hand upwards. It felt solid and heavy in his hand. Even though it was wooden, it was placed into a wooden scabbard.

''...Heavier than before, huh,'' - He said, using the wooden sword as a crutch to get himself up.

Rio simply nodded, taking stance against him. Issei removed his hoodie, uncovering the dark t-shirt underneath. It was covered in holes. His arms were covered in bruises and cuts. Wounds that he knew wouldn't heal fully. Some of them were already covered in dry scabs. And all those things were done by Rio, with a damn wooden sword. He tied a sash around his waist, and Rio had done the same. He hanged the wooden sword between his side and the sash.

Issei closed his eyes and inhaled, before stepping in front of Rio. Before stepping in front of pain.

When he opened his eyes, both of them were standing two dozen feet away from each other. His right arm lingered across to his left side, before the sword. _''Battōjutsu''_ , it was called. The art of unsheathing your sword and attacking the enemy in a single, lightning quick swipe.

He nodded, as they both stepped forwards. Rio's sword was already at his eyes. He felt the blast of wind that her swing _blasted_ his way, but yet, he still hadn't unsheathed his sword. The dull tip of her wooden sword drove across his forehead, as he dodged by a negative millimeter. Inside each-other's guards, Issei's arm flexed as he was about to swing the wooden sword through her. In a single draw, he would get her.

The swung didn't happen. Rio's free arm rested on top of his arm, that was still at his side, holding onto the sword. Her grasp denied him the ability to draw his own sword. He felt her hair on his face, her breath on his neck. He stepped forwards once again, spinning to the side, his knee going high, trying to hit Rio's side. She stepped forwards, spinning around him, making him stumble. She kicked his knee from behind, his knee hitting the ground. The wooden sword went flying out of his hands, bouncing against the pavement.

Rio was in control.

Before Issei had spared against her with swords, he had not realized how much of a monster she was. At 14, she was the top swordsman of the Osaka Exorcists in training. Her calm demeanor hid the monster inside of her. Her way of sword wasn't one that was for looks. Her way was that of pure killing. The draw of a real sword meant that it was time kill. Issei knew that her family had taught from young age, but this was simply ridiculous.

He lunged forwards, cart wheeling to his feet, and grabbed his sword. He spun around, as Rio simply stood there. He threw away the wooden scabbard of the sword and raised it towards her.

''...Issei, really, I ask...no, I plead, that you take the ''unsheathing'' part seriously. It's important.''

He sighed, nodding, ''Sorry.''

She let out a small breath before dashing at Issei with what would probably be an overhead swing. He realized she was probably telegraphing her attack on purpose, so he could read it. Issei stepped sideways, meeting her sword with his own from the side, redirecting her past himself, as they both spun to meet each others' dull blades once again.

Like that, they trained. Rio was obviously not going all out. Not even close to it, because she was teaching him. She had promised she would, and she didn't let Issei down. Only Issei himself grew frustrated of his lack of inborn ability to use the art of kenjutsu.

The blood of samurai did not flow in his veins, he thought to himself.

However, his body was already used to the feeling of swinging a sword. The swings he practiced alone, for hundreds and thousands of times were ingrained in him to his core.

In a barrage of their swords meeting, Issei took a half-step back, leaning his whole body to the right. Half of a second later Rio's sword swung past there, as Issei raised his sword upwards, changing the grip of his sword to that of a rapier, spinning his right shoulder towards her.

She dodged the rapid stabs, the swords soundlessly flowing between her hair. She dodged without a single wasted movement. And then a few seconds later, Issei collapsed, his sword bouncing against the ground.

He clutched his side, weeping in pain, ''E-enough!''

Somehow Rio had hit him in the ribs. She squatted down, sighing, ''When you change your style of wielding a sword, you open a nightmare of weak spots for yourself. You couldn't even see my attack, because your elbow was in the way.''

''...but I can mix and match, right?'' He asked, having regained his ability to breathe, yet it was ragged.

''Depends on how much natural talent you got,'' - She reached out to Issei, helping him stand up, ''For now, please try to follow my guidance to the fullest. Once you are proper with a katana, then you can do whatever the hell you want. Even though I'm sure that will take you quite the while~.''

''Why must you hurt me so deeply?'' Issei asked, showing her an exaggerated expression of pure despair at her teasing.

She chuckled, picking up Issei's sword and sheeting it, before giving it to him, ''Want to go again?''

He nodded.

* * *

''Where do you even get variously weighted wood swords with wooden scabbards, huh?'' Issei asked, about an half an hour later. His breathing was still ragged.

Both of them were sitting at the small bonfire, opposite of the fire that was in the middle of them. Rio was drinking water from a bottle, while Issei drank milk from a carton. Extra calories. She had taken a bag of supplies along with her.

''The proper name for scabbards is '' _saya_ '', by the way. My family had them made. I used them when I was training, didn't even get to touch a real sword until I was 7.''

''You say that like it isn't ridiculous that you wielded a real sword at seven.''

''My brother did it at 4.''

''What the fuck?'' Issei asked, after the milk that was halfway down his throat had hit the barrel of fire, ''Is your whole family freaks or something?''

''Maybe,'' Rio spoke, her eyes narrow. - ''What about yours?''

It took a while for Issei to respond. He swallowed once, trying to get feeling of a lodged rock out of his throat, ''They were regular people. Salary man father, stay at home, watch the kid, mother.''

They remained silent, the oak wood crackling as it burned. The coldness of the early snow that silenced the sounds of the forest. It was almost a lack of sound. His legs crossed, his arms hidden in the pocket of his hoodie, Issei was almost nodding off, his head lightly falling forwards. The warmth of the fire was cozy.

''We've never really talked about our pasts, huh...'' Rio spoke, her gentle voice almost as silent as a whisper.

The doors to their little hideout opened as he was about to try to continue the conversation. Both of them frigidly looked at the intruder. It was Shinji. He waved, and they relaxed, waving back.

''I thought you weren't coming, bro.''

''Well, I couldn't think to leave you alone with Rio, was afraid you'd get killed or worse,'' He answered, laughing.

''Probably just jealous to leave us two alone, huh...'' Rio replied, teasing him in return.

Shinji sat next to her by the fire, moving his fingers around. He was dressed in athletic wear, his face red from exertion. He had also arrived by running. He moved his arm around, as if pain.

He noticed Issei's gaze, looking down at him, ''Just sore. I kind of didn't listen to my physical therapist's advice of not overdoing training.''

''Take it easy for a bit, you got your cast off just a week ago,'' Rio said, her gaze scrutinizing. ''You push too hard.''

She seemed genuinely worried. He sighed, bitterly. The two of them moved closer, beginning to talk. Something about the upper management. Issei droned it out.

Rio was closer with Shinji. He didn't know exactly how close they were, but it was obvious, even to his young self. He even called her by her first name, with nothing else even when in private. Maybe they were secretly dating. Well, it wasn't really difficult to understand why. He was tall, handsome, great at fighting, great at learning, great at tests. He was on a fast track for becoming a great exorcist. His family was powerful. He was also the oldest of them, at 15.

But Issei, was just Issei. Bottom of the list at everything, small, weak. He became an exorcist because of a probably-forgotten promise. The girl he was chasing might not even remember him at this point. He didn't know, and he was afraid to find out.

In the end, Issei didn't have anything to offer to anyone.

He exhaled, chuckling. Rio tilted her head sideways, looking at him, curious. Getting up, he raised his hand, halfheartedly saluting them both, before turning to the exit.

''Already going?'' She asked, her eyes narrow.

''Hey, I thought we could train a bit!'' Shinji shouted, raising his hand.

''Listen to Rio, rest a bit,'' he responded, not turning back to them. ''I forgot I didn't do that essay on Vampire habits. I'll scratch something up before class.''

He shut the doors behind him, with regular force.

He had no right to be jealous. He realized that, but he couldn't control his emotions. He could only control himself, and get away before saying something stupid.

Besides, what was his 13 year old's heart even doing? He didn't understand what he felt about Rio. If love, then the love he felt to Irina wasn't love. The feelings he cherished from the days beneath that cherry tree back in Kuoh were pure like snow. Those days made his heart race. He could only remember her, because everything that happened, happened because of her.

But this feeling was entirely different. It felt more sinister. He wanted to embrace her. He wanted to hold her and only her. And he wanted for her to embrace him, and only him. The idea of her being with someone else, even Shinji, made him angry. He was possessive, but only in his mind. He never let out a hint of emotions towards Rio. He knew that this situation wasn't permanent.

It was obvious that Rio stalled for time on purpose. Her grades were great, but she acted out on purpose. Punishment was keeping back graduating. Punishment was not letting her take the tests necessary to fulfill the requirements of being an exorcist. Instructors docked her scores unfairly because of her attitude towards them. If she wanted to graduate, all she had to was repent. Stop fighting against the instructors and priests. From the outside it looked like she always had to open her big mouth to mock something, or to comment on something. As if she was always looking for a fight. She was held back a year for beating a guy into a hospital with a sheathed sword.

She stalled time, so she didn't have to become an exorcist. Issei didn't know why. And because of that lack of knowledge, Issei was sure that one day Rio would decide that she must move forwards, and she would graduate.

And leave him behind.

He sprinted through the forest, gasping for air. He only stopped at the end of the river, splashing his face with the ice cold water.

It was fine. He was fine. Just being around her was enough. As he felt the dread return to his body, right across his vertebrae, making him shiver, he set off on a run once again.

* * *

''...so, the special exceptions - Daywalkers are a very special kind of vampires. The main weakness that vampires have - sunlight, daylight - do not affect them. Daywalkers might not like sunlight, but it doesn't damage them in any way. Their bodies can even absorb vitamin D from it. Most Daywalkers are also Daphnirs, so you can easily connect the dots on that front...Ah, yes, Rin?''

The teacher stopped his exposition about Daywalker vampires because one of the young exorcists in training had raised his hand.

''Can they get tanned from sun?''

''...Yes, yes they can.'' He answered, sheepishly. ''However, white, porcelain-like skin is kept in high regard in vampire society, so I really don't think a vampire would tan on purpose. Also, supposedly sun gives them discomfort.''

The boy grinned, seemingly content. Issei sat the furthest corner of the room, staring at the teacher through the glass of his black, thick-rimmed glasses. In his school uniform he looked like a regular middle-schooler. Black slacks, black dress shoes, white button up shirt with the top buttons open, the dark blue striped necktie was messily tied around his neck, not properly seated beneath the collar of his shirt. The sleeve on his damaged hand was open and rolled up, and because of this injury, his blue blazer was only seated a top of his shoulders, as if it was a cape.

The emblem was a simple shield with a silhouette of the church and beneath it, ''Church of Osaka'' was sewn in by a golden tread. Issei was playing with his cross, the golden chain rubbing against the desk. With an uncaring expression, he listened quite closely to what the teacher was saying. If he was in class, he had decided to make the most of it.

Rio was nowhere to be seen, and Shinji didn't have to attend these lectures, so he was all alone. Some of the other boys were eyeing him quite hard, so he pretended not to notice. The time passed quick, as the teacher seemed to have a fascination on the topic of vampires.

''...because of this, vampires are extremely dangerous. It is often forgotten, that most of these monsters have a will of their own. The mindset of most vampires are particularly dangerous, because we, humans, to them are like food. From their point of view, we are the cattle. Our blood is like the meat of cows that we eat. We do not see cows as our equals, and so do vampires. To them, we are beneath them. Theoretically, some would say that we below them in the food chain,'' The teacher spoke, pausing to make a point, but it seemed to fall on death's ears. The rowdy bunch of boys had taken it as a challenge.

''No one is above us. Humans are strongest. If not, we wouldn't be the leaders, while the vampires hide in shadows, out of the way in some mountains.''

The teacher sighed, and as he opened his mouth to give a hasty reply, the bell rang. It didn't matter that it was a Christian school, middle school aged students were still the same everywhere. They stood up, bowed, and exited the classroom as quick as they could.

Issei remained one of the last ones in the class, as he was in no particular haste to exit whatsoever. He looked as most of the exorcists in training gathered into their own little cliques and groups, talking and laughing as they left. The next period was free.

''Hyoudou?''

He heard, just as he had put away his glasses. He scrunched up his face for a second, and then turned around, trying to show his teacher a regular, easy-going expression. ''Yes?''

''Where is Miss Juuzou Rio?''

''...I don't really know. After her morning run she did say she was feeling a bit under the weather.''

The teacher sighed in an overly exaggerated manner. His eyes narrowed down, crossing his arms on his chest. He was quite fit for someone his age. His light gray hair didn't show any signs of thinning.

''I do not take kind to lying. I understand the feeling of solidarity, the wish to protect your friends, I really do, but do not disrespect me.''

Issei stared at him through his eyebrows.

''Remind her that she will regret it.''

After cracking his neck to the side, Issei swallowed his saliva, and with that, the words that he wished to spit out.

They spent a few seconds staring at each other, before Issei grabbed his bag and exited the classroom without saying a word. His feet carried him quickly. He was about to tell an instructor to go screw himself. Was he still angry from the morning? Maybe Rio's attitude had rubbed off on him. He wondered, but those thoughts scattered, when he got kicked in the chest.

However, instead of falling over, he caught that leg and twisted it.

The attacker didn't fall over, instead he used the inertia of the twist to spin himself midair and kick at Issei's head. He dodged downwards, releasing the leg.

Issei stepped back a single step, looking at the attacker, as he landed on both feet, standing up.

''Issei, Issei, didn't expect that from you! I was sure that wearing a cast on your arm would have surely fucked up your strength and training, but it seems the opposite.''

Spoke Nakamura, tilting his head side to side, as he spoke. He was light on his feet, almost twitchy, ready to attack.

Issei's arms remained at his sides, but this time he would be ready.

Nakamura wasn't alone. Around them both stood a handful of his ''friends''. It was a fact that Nakamura was respected. He was near the top in the rankings, however, the rankings did not show the fact that Nakamura was blessed with Sacred Gear. A gift from God of the truest caliber. Anyone with one was considered gifted and incredibly lucky. And Issei...he simply felt envious.

''Let's go to the rooftop, shall we, friend?''

''What if I kick your head in right here?'' Issei spat back, ''We could save the time.''

He laughed, his blue eyes narrowing ever so slightly, ''Would you like to cause such a scene? Everyone knows us, after all. You are at the bottom of the class.''

He paused, making sure to look at Issei's expression, while the others that surrounded him smiled. Besides the initial kick, not a single person who looked at them would think that there was anything wrong. They just looked like a bunch of friends talking.

''Who would think that a good student like me would start a fight, Issei?''

Issei scoffed, nodding his head. Nakamura turned around and Issei followed him, to the rooftop. It should be locked, but obviously - it wasn't. When everyone of Nakamura's circle was on the rooftop, Issei heard a click behind him. The doors were locked.

''No way down.''

''Don't exclude the edge, fuckhead,'' Issei spoke, his tone cold. He threw his school blazer down, near the entrance.

''Ah, pretending to be so cool doesn't suit you, Issei. I liked you better when you didn't stand up to me. Those few years were a lot better, my friend,'' Nakamura spoke, standing with his hands in his pockets. A wide, confident stance. His eyes were almost childishly innocent, but Issei was able to see the sinister in them.

''I'll keep fighting back until you either stop or I kick your head off, it's your choice.''

He laughed, but this time it seemed genuine.

''I actually find it very interesting. I got to see you grow up.''

Issei's eyes narrowed into slits. He didn't say a word, all those memories of humiliation rushing through his brain like a tornado.

''Hey, tell me, what was your turning point? What did I do, that you decided that it was enough, that you decided to fight back?''

''Self-obsessed, narcissistic asshole Nakamura, do you think that world revolves around you? I had to grow up. A lot. I have no time for this middle school yappy bullying bullshit. You didn't do shit. So get on with it.''

Nakamura laughed. A forced laugh. A fake laugh. Those childlike eyes turned into ones that resembled ones of a predator.

Issei felt a gust of wind from behind him - air being displaced. Then he felt a sharp pain in his side, and then, leaned to the front, touched the ground, and swooped his leg backwards. It only drove through thin air.

Nakamura kicked him in the head, while he was still leaned downwards. The air was displaced again to his side, as he dashed to the other side, narrowly dodging.

Nakamura's sacred gear was short-range teleportation. Issei had to guess that as he aged, his distance had increased, but it was no more than a dozen feet. He could do it consecutively for a few times, but had to rest after that.

Issei clutched his bleeding nose, before wiping off the blood with his wrist, dirtying half his face. He was full of anger. He noticed Nakamura for a second, as he swung his arm in a punching motion and disappeared.

Issei instantly dropped to the ground, his already-in-motion punch going above him. Issei grabbed on to him, hearing him scoff. His fist connected with the stomach of Nakamura.

It was satisfying.

He moved even closer, wrapping his arm around Nakamura's. He couldn't teleport anymore. Their eyes met a split second, as Issei stepped into him. The elbow that Nakamura had tried to throw was useless now. Issei was smaller in height, and used it to his advantage, by smashing his forehead againt his nose. Unfortunately, it didn't crunch. Nakamura had probably leaned into it to minimize the damage.

Issei's face scrunched up in pain, as he felt being kicked in the side. He couldn't control Nakamura's movement fully, since he was phyisically smaller. Pushing him back, Nakamura kicked, and Issei released him to dodge.

He had no choice. Taking a hit like that would have knocked him out.

Nakamura disappeared, and Issei focused on feeling the gust of wind, from air being displaced from the spot where Nakamura would appear.

This time, he was surprised.

Nakamura stomped him from above. Issei didn't react in time. When he realized what was happening, it was already over.

He was on the ground with a ringing headache, Nakamura squatting down next to him, smoking. He slowly exhaled the smoke on his face, making Issei cough.

''Now then, I fully expect the money payment next week,'' Nakamura stated, in a relaxed tone. ''I don't think you want to continue this unjust violence. It's painful, right?''

''Fuck off,'' - Issei spat blood at him. ''If you keep coming, I'll keep fighting. Find someone else to get your lunch money off of.''

He sighed, standing up. ''I already have a few. But my expenses are becoming larger these days. I'm a growing boy, right.''

He said, kicking Issei in the chest, before leaving for the rooftop doors.

''Well, let's talk soon. We'll see if you change your mind.''

Issei remained on the ground, but raised his back, getting into a seiza position and deeply inhaling. He hated being knocked out. Those few seconds that were completely out of his control - and more importantly - his own knowledge.

He sighed, touching his face. The blood was already congested and half-way dry. His uniform jacket was somewhere on the roof, and his white shirt was bloody and dirty from lying on his back.

He laid down on the cold roof, looking at the sky. Clouds of his ragged breath carried into the sky.

''I'll get you, fucker.''

Nakamura existed as a bully that knew no shame. He wasn't a ''bad boy'', not in the slightest. He performed well in school, people generally thought good of him, the teachers liked him. He was smart and wicked. His perfect persona and his network of bullies was something special, Issei was pretty sure of it.

He had single-handedly built a network of incoming money. He only bullied those without a good standing in school, such as Issei himself. He asked for money and punished by the way of violence, if they didn't comply. He beat people who usually trained hard and got injuries, so it wouldn't be so obvious. Issei had taken it for a while, when he was younger. Those hellish days of loneliness and suffering. However, ever since getting with Rio and Shinji, he had simply fought back. He couldn't face them otherwise. He didn't want to be that much of a coward. Didn't matter than he didn't win, but he was left alone for the most part. Teachers didn't care for it, and if they did, fact of the matter was ''forgiveness''. Atonement and forgiveness were the staples of Christians. ''Atonement'' was key, and as a Christian, he had to ''forgive''. Let bygones be bygones.

 _Bullshit_ , he thought. With every fight, he was coming closer to Nakamura. One day, he'll be the one victorious. And then, he was sure that he would beat him to an inch of his life.

Thankfully, there was a bathroom nearby. Looking himself in the mirror, he only found a sorry sight. His nose wasn't bleeding anymore, having clotted. Splashing cold water on his face, it only made the burning sensation in his face worsen. No matter how many times his face was split open, the flushing sensation never diminished. He ruffled up his white shirt to get the footprint off, and put on his blazer. The glasses were undamaged, in their protective case. He sighed, exiting.

He didn't feel hungry, so studying it was. He went back to his dorm room.

4 Beds in a single room. 4 desks, with a lamp, 4 closets and 4 small refrigerators. It was empty. The other boys of the room were outside, probably. The other walls by the beds had some kind of ''personality'' to speak of. Even though they were exorcists, they were still kids. The dorm manager allowed them to have posters, books, other things of that nature. Corner, below a window, didn't have much to speak of. A bunch of worn out running shoe and a suitcase under his bed. Books for studying and a bible on his desk. His bedding was slightly disheveled, as his training clothes were laid on top. He sat down on the wooden chair, pulling the first book on the stack towards himself. Math. Algebra, to be specific. As his program was one that gave you an education and the title of an exorcist, it had most subjects that schools had. Because of time constraints, they would speed through the material, at a much higher pace than at a regular school.

He tried to focus, reading the theory, however, his ringing headache didn't subside. His vision blurred, and he noticed a few wet spots on the book's page.

Tears.

Leaning back, he took of his glasses and looked outside the window. Lazy clouds passed.

''...What is this shit,'' he swore to himself, his expression one of pure anger, ''Fucking coward!''

He stood up, grabbed the book and hurled it at the wall above his bed. After the loud crash, some papers he had stuck between scattered across the room. His breathing ragged, he stood there, undeniable anger in his expression, yet tears flowed from his eyes.

''...You're fine. You're fine,'' he said, comforting himself. ''...I'll be fine.''

He picked up the scattered papers, but them into the book, that, surprisingly, had not been destroyed by the force of the throw, and put it back on the desk. Getting into his bed, he was on his side, pulling his knees to his chest. Driving through his hair with both hands, he remained like that.

Obviously, his ''though guy'' response to the bullying was just a charade. He didn't want to be in pain. He wanted for it to stop. It took a lot out of him to give Nakamura such responses as he did. Flexing his legs just so they wouldn't shake. He was just a coward, after all.

He started to bite his fingernails, his eyes unfocused. The familiar, disgusting feeling of a shiver going up his spine, once again, returned to him, as he scoffed.

He shut his eyelids.

The tears had stopped.

* * *

 _Writer's notes._

 _I'll say this. I'm sorry to anyone to whom the name of this story fooled. This is not a Gary Stue overpowered, super strong harem master Issei story. I have (had) a reputation for a certain kind of stories. This will about be of that kind._

 _An insight in the daily life of our favorite exorcist in training. It's gonna be pretty slow at the start, but it has to be for the impact I wish to create. Honestly, I feel like I'm trying to create something pretty ambitious, might be a bit over my head, but we'll see. I have a plan to split this story into 3 parts._

 _Also, I've understood that as a man who isn't religious by any definition, it's pretty hard for me to imagine a religious school and students. Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed it. Leave a review with your thoughts, if you've made it this far._


	3. Burdens

_**CHAPTER 2:Burdens**_

He was leaning over a textbook, his long, dark hair obscuring his face, glasses sitting on the tip of his nose, as he was furiously scratching in a notebook. Derivation was still a sore subject for him. Having pushed himself into the furthest corner of a coffee shop, he let out a sigh. A coffee cup next to him almost empty, as it was filled by a waitress, who was quietly humming to herself.

''Ah, thank you, Hana-san,'' Issei said, not even giving a look at her direction.

She sat down, across from him, letting out a long sigh. ''Ah, you sure are diligent in your studies. What are you, rank 1 in your class, right?''

Issei stopped his writing, looking at her through his eyebrows. As a matter of fact, Issei Hyoudou, academically, was pretty much bottom of the barrel trash. Most exorcists of his class were kids from prestigious families. They had been studying for their whole lives, pretty much. And most of them could get tutors, and all of them studied in groups, so their separate knowledge covered most of the holes in other's knowledge of the subjects. And most of all, Issei fucking hated studying.

''Haha,'' He stifled a laugh. ''I'm just doing my best.''

She sighed softly. ''Your expression screams more of 'please save me~!' than glee of being the best...''

He pushed his glasses up his nose with his index finger, scrunching up his face. ''Somehow I just don't get it.''

Hana leaned forwards, the apron of her waitress outfit rubbing against the table. ''No good, I don't understand this stuff. Too complicated.''

''Hana-san'' was a full-time waitress at the cafe. Seemingly, even more than full-time, since she was there almost everyday, be it a Monday, or a Sunday. Her expression was always kind, her long, black hair pulled into two buns. Mid-twenties, she looked completely content with her life. Happy, even. She got up, stretching her arms into the air.

''I'll leave you to it, then.''

He nodded, as she walked away. A minute later, she was cleaning the empty desks, and Issei was boring a hole into the textbook, flipping back and forth in his notes.

The cafe itself was just a small, in-between place where he came to study sometimes. The library was almost always filled with people, and his room was a bother to study at when his roomates were there. It was winter out, so it wasn't an option, to study outside. So, a light breakfast sandwich and a coffee, sitting in the cozy place. The aroma of breakfast buns filled the air. His leg pulled up on the chair, he dug his own face into his knee, exhaling vigorously out of his nose. He could not focus, not at all.

After all, winter break was closing in. People would be leaving for home.

''You there, boy with the expression of ultimate despair!''

Issei almost jumped out of his chair, hearing such a loud voice from behind. His thoughts jumbled up, still pushing his head into his leg, he turned to look. Of course, it was no one else but Shinji.

''Should I be the one to save you?"

He asked, leaning forwards, one hand behind his back, the other touching his chin. Hana had turned to look, and was laughing along. Even when fooling around, Shinji was handsome. Still wearing his school uniform, he brought his hand through his hair.

''I mean, if you can explain to me why exactly this expression derives into this, and not that, then yeah, be my prince charming.'' Issei scoffed.

''Sure,'' he said, sitting down.

He had to explain it to Issei a few times, before he managed to understand it. Shinji ordered a cup of coffee and a small piece of cake to go along with it, as if celebrating something.

''Anything good happen?''

''Well, if you count the holidays...and the fact that the upper management is not going to call me anymore. Those old dudes are scary as hell. Honestly, the second-in-command is more scary than the devil we slayed.''

''He was the guy with the scar across the side of his face, that reached his ear, right?''

''Yeah, apparently he got it while slaying a high-class devil. Pretty hardcore stuff.''

Issei remained silent, looking to the side. To slay a high-class devil, he couldn't imagine it. To him, the idea of such a feat sounded like something out of fiction.

''So, my dear friend, are you going to visit your mother in these peaceful, holy holidays?'' Shinji asked him, showing him an unnatural smile.

''It's none of your business, is it,'' Issei scoffed, his eyes narrow like slits. ''I'm staying here. I have a lot of studying to do.''

Shinji remained silent, sighing lightly. So that's why he was acting so aloof, Issei thought.

''...Don't take it so hard. I know my situation better than you. If you want what's better for my emotional well being, you'd want me to stay here.''

Shinji inhaled, looking straight into Issei's eyes, ''But remember, it wasn't your fault that -!''

''Shut up.''

''But,''

''Shut it,'' Issei growled.

''...Sorry. I only want the best for you.''

''I know. So shut it,'' Issei showed him a fake smile.

''...Anyways, have you noticed that Rio's hips have been becoming wider and wider in recent days?''

Issei croaked, before being able to take a breathe, and then he laughed. But it was real laugh, he wasn't faking it. Shinji had a talent for being the clown, for making the awkward atmosphere into a sociable one. Maybe that was why he was always able to talk with Issei.

Even though Issei thought Shinji to be his friend, Shinji thought of him more like a little brother, who he wanted to help and protect. Maybe Issei simply had a that kind ''weak and helpless'' aura about himself.

''...They have, haven't they. I don't know where to look when sparing with her,'' - Issei said, hiding his face behind his wrist. With a single eye he looked at Shinji.

He had black hair with an undercut at the back. The few strands in the front fell to the side. His eyes were strikingly blue, as if able to see right through you. That, combined with his perfect jaw line and straight nose, was probably why women loved him. Well, and his tall, muscular frame. He, in the same uniform that Issei wore, looked like a highschool senior.

Issei was envious, really.

''You're gonna go back home, right?''

Shinji nodded. ''Of course. Need to see the parents. The Christmas dinner is a sacred thing in my family...''

He quieted down, apparently having decided that it was a sore subject for Issei. He was very emphatic. Maybe even a little too soft, for a profession that killed. Shinji got his cake and coffee, as Issei had returned to studying.

It was a bit later, when Shinji got up.

''I'm leaving. Good luck with the studying, kid.''

Before exiting, he left some money of the desk, as he lingered next to him, placing his hand on his head and patting it for a few seconds, before Issei tried to slap it off. With a small jump, he was already out of reach. He gave a small wave to Hana-san, and then was gone.

Issei let out a small sigh, while smiling. ''What an idiot...''

* * *

The days passed quickly. He trained, he studied, it was a life that repeated itself. Christmas and his birthday came and went, he didn't spend a single second celebrating the fact that he turned 14. Now the same age as Rio on paper, but still felt like a child.

After those days passed, the in-between Christmas and New Year came. Only those people who had no place to go, like him, or those who were just that devoted to their belief, remained in the Church territory.

Rio left for home, too. Her expression was difficult to read. In training, she seemed on edge. Issei was wearing a black face mask to cover the bottom part of his face, as she had split his lip and left a scar on his chin. Maybe it was just that Issei was that bad at using a sword, that even holding back, she injured him. Or maybe she was becoming frustrated to teach someone like him. He couldn't tell, but it didn't seem like Rio was too sorry for it. She was too preoccupied with her thoughts.

He understood that something was bothering her, because something was bothering himself. He was out of it, too.

It was a couple days after Christmas. He was on a bullet train, leaning against the window in his seat. The face mask covered the lower part of his face, the hood of his winter jacket covered the top part. It was still dark outside, even thought it was morning. As the train entered the city, the lights reflected the slowly falling snow.

He understood that his time to get off was soon to come.

His feet lead him through the town. Cars were pilling up at junctures, everyone trying to get to work in time. He still had time to waste, before he had to go and do his obligation. Looking around, every little corner was quite familiar.

He was in Kuoh, his home town, after all. It hadn't changed a bit, even after a year of not being here. Like a lost lamb, he walked those familiar streets, tracing his childhood steps, until he reached his old home. There was a car parked there, the lights on in most windows. He could almost see the outlines of people inside, bustling, as they went about their morning routine. He lingered, only his narrow eyes noticeable behind the mask. The new owners called the place home. And it was, ''their home''. Even, calling them ''new owners'' was wrong, too. They were there for a few years now.

That place wasn't ''home'' for him.

With a sigh, he turned to walk away. Next stop, as always, was the local park.

He stood where the old swings had been. In his memories, those swings in particular were precious, because he tasted his first kiss in front of them. It was almost like those swings had represented a part of his childhood innocence.

Now, in their stead stood new ones. A lot bulkier, and with a lot more plastic. Probably safer for the kids, he assumed. He sat down, but didn't try to swing in them. The park was still desolate. Snow was still falling, slowly.

He tried to remember that sensation, of Irina giving him that peck on his lips. He couldn't recall it.

And then, he tried to recall Irina's voice. He couldn't.

The color of her eyes...what was it...?

He could only remember the emotions her wide smiles gave him. Those pure, like the snow, emotions.

He sat there until it felt like the snow had enveloped his frozen statue. His chest hurt, but he couldn't tell which pain it was. In a swift motion, he jumped up, the snow scattering. He glanced to the furthest end of the park. There, the giant cherry tree stood. No blossoms to be found, it looked dead. Only snow was compounding on the thickest branches.

It was winter after all. He looked, but didn't go there, to their past meeting spot.

Maybe Irina had cursed him, he thought.

* * *

He had eaten a light breakfast, visited a bank, and was climbing out of a city bus. His feet felt numb, as if not there.

''Kuoh Psychiatric Hospital'' the large sign stated. Plain and simple, without any kind of hand holding. Black on the white background. Entering, he walked past the front desk, without asking anything. He was too familiar with the place. However, the woman there tried to stop him. After he pulled down the mask covering his face, her eyes widened, and she nodded.

''Doctor Nakabuchi is waiting for you already.''

Pulling the mask back up, he entered the lift, and pressed the button for the 5th floor. Arriving there, he made a b-line for the familiar office. He knocked twice, before hearing a gentle ''Come in''. The doors opened, and he was looking downwards.

''...Issei. Please, take off your jacket.'' The man said, his voice was low, but gentle.

Issei raised his glance, looking at the Doctor. He was a man in his mid-50s. His hair was graying, tall in stature, but skinny. His three piece suit was dark blue. A welcoming face, matching his voice. Issei couldn't tell where his mask of a psychotherapist and a doctor began, and where it ended. For him, it was all fake.

He took off his coat, hanging it in the corner hanger. The man waved at the leather chair across from him, and Issei sat down, his mask still on.

''Oh, remove that thing off from your face,'' He said, with a light smile, trying to lighten the mood. ''You've grown a bit since the last I saw you, haven't you.''

''Well, it's about that time to grown.'' He said, before taking off the medical mask, uncovering his damaged lip and chin. Before he could say anything, Issei smiled at him. ''Just a training accident. In recent days I'm just training and training.''

The doctor paused for a second, before nodding. ''I understand. Before we get down to business...I wanted to ask you about your life and your emotions, but you won't tell me, huh...''

Issei let out a chuckle. ''Well, I'm at my teenage rebellion stage after all.''

''Heh...At least tell me this, are you seeing a psychiatrist at least?''

Issei assumed that lying would be useless. ''No, I can't quite find the time for it. May we get to the business part now?''

The man showed him a bitter smile at that purposeful dodging of his questions. But he couldn't do anything about it – after all, Issei Hyoudou was not his patient.

His patient was Issei's Hyoudou's mother. Issei had, of course, lied to Shinji about not going to visit his mother.

''Well, unfortunately we are stuck. Fortunately, the place where we are stuck – it isn't horrible. The random outbursts of psychosis have lessened considerably-''

''How much of that could be chalked up to me not being around?''

''Are you sure you are...what, 13? 14?'' He asked, closing one eye. ''You are too pessimistic for your age. Though, not that I blame you.''

Issei smiled bitterly.

''I'll be real honest with you. In my professional opinion, it's most likely you not being around and time. You are, the main trigger for her, after all.'' The man stated, bluntly. ''However, as a parent, I'd like to apologize to you, for such cruel words.''

''Don't.'' Issei answered.

''Other than that, your mother is quite healthy. She exercises, socializes with other patients, reads books. Certain topics are a no-go zone, of course...however, that delusion is as strong as ever.''

Doctor Nakabuchi leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling.

''I suppose it's inevitable. The thing is, this delusion will remain here unless we challenge it head on. Nothing else has worked. So, I must be the one to ask you to do this cruel task, even though no son should be asked to do this to his own mother. But, I am a cruel man, and...my patient is your mother, not you.''

Issei nodded. The doctor was too kind. ''This is to help her...so, I don't mind.''

As they both stood up, Doctor Nakabuchi's glance turned to him, his eyes narrow, almost in pain. ''You are strong.''

 _I am ripping at the seams_ , Issei thought to himself, looking towards the only window in the room. The snowing had subsided, he thought. He chuckled to himself, awkwardly.

He followed the doctor through out the corridors, down a floor, and then he stopped, after the doctor.

''So I should challenge the delusion, when it appears, huh...''

The doctor nodded, moving himself away from the doors. Issei stopped for a second, after taking a step forwards. His stomach was in knots. He didn't want to face the person behind those doors.

He thought that maybe he should pray to God. So he did, touching the golden cross on his chest. The only thing he felt was the numb coldness of it. Once he opened those doors, he faced the only woman in the room. Sitting on her hospital bed, her glance turned downwards, to a book in her lap. Her cheeks sunken in, her brown hair cut shoulder length. Noticing him, her dull eyes widened.

''...Hey.'' Issei said, stopping by her bed. ''You seem to be doing good.''

''Ah...I suppose.'' She answered, smiling a little bit.

After that, there was a silence.

''So, what have you been up to?'' She asked Issei.

He paused for a moment. He smiled at her, assuming that his fake smile was crooked and terrible, but even so, he still pushed on, lying through his teeth.

''I guess, not that much has changed. Still doing my best. I'm studying and I'm training. I'm pretty happy about life right now,'' The bottom part of his face was smiling, the top part, only showed her narrow eyes and downturned eyebrows.

''That's great to hear...but wasn't it your birthday a few days ago? I think, but my mind is so blurry...I keep loosing the track of which day it is...'' She said, touching her head, as if in pain.

''It was.''

''Ah...I'm sorry...If I knew you'd have come to visit me, I would have gotten you a present...''

''No worries.'' Issei stated, devoid of emotion.

There was silence once again.

''...What about your father? He hasn't visited me even once.''

He looked at the doctor, who was standing by the window. Their glances met.

''I'm still waiting.'' She said, as Issei noticed the change in her demeanor. ''Waiting for my son and my husband to come back to me.''

The doctor's eyes narrowed, his expression turning grim, but he nodded. And thus, Issei simply cracked his neck, tilting his head to the side, as he looked his mother in the eyes.

''...I'm right here.'' Issei said, his voice strong, unwavering, and bitter like poison. ''And your husband is dead.''

''He isn't dead. And you...you aren't my son!'' She spat back. ''You cruel man. Lying to a weeping woman about her family. Have you no shame?''

''Look me in the eyes and face reality!'' Issei roared. ''Your husband is dead. Gone. He was ripped to shreds by a devil!"

''...AAAHhh...'' She exhaled loudly, her voice cracking. ''Right. You...you fake! Standing there with that evil look in your eyes, pretending to be my son! You killed my husband! You killed my Gorou! It was all your fault! But my husband...my husband will come back to me...''

''Don't you see I'm lonely? Don't go leaving your son alone to face the world you fucking shitty mother!'' He shouted. His eyes wide, his face contorted in pure animalistic rage.

''YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DID THIS!'' She screamed back. ''Playing exocist, always getting in trouble, going to that cursed church...I didn't want this...I...I just want my family back...''

That woman who could no longer be called his mother, sobbed, shaking uncontrollably. Her eyes narrow like slits, looking straight at Issei, as she weaved herself back and forth, on top of the hospital bed. In a single instant, that women was a stranger. Everything from the way she spoke, to the way she twitched and moved, it was simply _wrong_.

Issei stepped backwards. He thought he hadn't moved that much, but it turned out he had, when his back hit the furthest wall of the room.

''My little Issei...my little boy...you won't fool me, shitty devil...my husband is just not coming to visit me...''

A nurse came in, a syringe in her hand. After a few seconds, the mumbling stopped, as the nurse helped in calming his mother. They left the room shortly. Before going back to the doctor's office, Issei excused himself to the bathroom.

He vomited his breakfast into the toilet. No matter how many times he retched, he still felt like a rock was stuck inside his throat, his tear ducts made of fire, and as if his stomach lining was tearing. There was no helping it, as he let out a guttural scream, his arms cramped into the sides of the toilet bowl. He flexed his arms as hard as he could, feeling his joints creek against the hard porcelain.

Having washed his hands and face repeatedly, he looked at himself in the mirror.

''Do I really look like that?'' He asked himself, seeing his own mouth move. More like a dead man walking than a human. After taking his face mask out, and putting it on, he went back to the doctors office. His glance was a mix of sadness and understanding.

After a little bit of silence, they began to talk. This time, the doctor didn't ask him to take of the mask. He understood.

''...It was all worthless.''

''Don't say that, Issei. No matter how little it was, she herself stated that 'she wants her family back'. She relapsed into the same delusion of your father being alive and not visiting her, but just for a moment, she was conscious of that fact.'' He sighed, looking away from Issei. ''That's more progress than this year alone.''

There was a long pause.

''I don't think this will actually help. She won't ever forgive the things I did. And because of that, I will only enrage her. As she said, it's all my fault.''

''...But you don't remember what happened. And even if you did, you were just a child!''

There was a single truth in what the doctor said.

Issei didn't remember what happened. There was a great darkness over that day.

Time and time again, he was told about it. Psychogenic amnesia. Dissociative amnesia. A memory disorder that is characterized by memory gaps, usually of a traumatic or stressful nature. That was the definition of it. Issei had read it over and over again.

In other words, what happened that day was so traumatic that his mind locked those memories away. Somewhere, deep inside the recesses of it, there were memories of what happened.

''...After that promise to become an exorcist, I always got in trouble. I researched rumors of ghosts, of devils, of youkai. My parents always told me to stop. I never listened. In fact, that church...''

Issei was clutching his hands together.

''Do you know about the abandoned church in the hills? Back then, in that church, I spent a lot of time alone. No one was ever there, except for me. I played there. I pretended to be an exorcist of that church. I was such a child, haha.''

Doctor Nakabuchi remained silent, letting him speak.

''One day, something went wrong. While I was playing in that abandoned church, a person came. With a single swipe, he hurled me across the church. I was so scared...and after that, I don't know.''

Issei was looking downwards, his face completely hidden behind his hair and the mask.

''When I came to, it was a day later. I was sitting in a back of an ambulance. There was a nice lady, holding my hand, speaking to me. Apparently, a devil had taken me hostage. With me missing, my parents had went to search for me. Some lady had seen them go inside, and never coming out, so she called the nearest church. They sent an exorcist the next morning. And by then, my father was dead. My mother was a mess of emotions and screaming, and I had completely locked away everything that happened in that half a day.''

Issei sighed. ''So, I forgot everything that happened. Something horrendous did happen, and my mother, she is blaming me for it all. Not only for the fact that they got into that mess because I was taken by a devil, but also, she is saying that I caused it first hand...and I trust my mother.''

Issei paused, as the doctor simply glanced at him. He raised his head, meeting his glance.

''That's how I got my chance to become an exorcist. That exorcist was actually someone really strong. He is now the top Exorcist of my branch. Back then, he was in town on some business. He saved us...or what was left of us, anyways. A regular exorcist would have been defeated. He stormed inside like a valiant knight and took the head of the devil clean off before anything else happened...At least that's what they told me happened. With his help, I was put into the exorcist program.''

''Ahh...your mother is literally crazy. You shouldn't trust what she says.'' The doctor sighed. ''You need therapy. I will repeat it time after time, day after day. This damage is permanent. The longer you put it off, the bigger the hole in your heart will become. Now, you listen to me. It wasn't your fault, because...-''

Issei blacked out everything else that the doctor said. They discussed a lot, they spoke about many things, but Issei felt like someone else had taken control over the ''speaking'' part of his brain. No matter how good Nakabuchi's words were, they could not change Issei's mind about that one fact.

It was his fault. He was at fault for everything bad that happened to his family. For what was left of his mother's scattered sanity. For the gravestone of his father.

That was his sin to be carried alone.

A long while later, as he was exiting the hospital, he left a check at the front desk. It was a years worth of cash for the service and treatment for his mother. He had no problem paying for it – ever since he had sold his family house, he could always pay for her treatment.

He had steeled himself to only use that money to pay for her treatment and nothing else.

By the time he realized what was actually happening, he was already leaning against the window in a train, halfway back to Osaka.

Once again, he let his body carry him wherever. This time, he ended up at the same old-school styled restaurant that he always did. Eating a bowl of udon, he reminisced about things.

He had almost become the thing he dreamed to be. An exorcist. In a way, everything bad that had happened to him, and everything that was his dream could be traced back to a single point in his life.

Irina. Maybe she really had cursed him.

He wondered, if his dream of being an exorcist was actually his. Maybe this path of ''being an exorcist'' was only filled with nothing but suffering.

Or perhaps this was his punishment for his arrogance.

He wondered, if his mother, a grown woman had went insane from what had happened, then maybe he would be in a straight jacket, inside a white padded cell right now, if not for his brain locking away the memories of that day.

Or maybe he was insane. Either way, he knew that he wasn't normal.

His mind was taken back to reality by the fact that some people had sat next to him. People who were not his friends. He looked at their arrogant gazes, realizing that these were the ''goons'' of Nakamura. He didn't even know their names.

''Hey, boy. Such a nice thing to meet you, friend.'' the kid was probably his own age, yet he called him a boy. ''Since you are here, would you be so kind as to pay for our lunch? We are awfully hungry...''

The other two boys laughed. ''This is the time of giving, after all.''

Issei pulled up his face mask, standing up. ''Let's go outside.''

They were taken aback, as silence filled the sparsely filled restaurant. But they followed Issei as he exited the building. He turned the corner, going into an alley. It was moist, and dark. The concrete was cold, but barely any snow had reaching the in-between space. Issei stood with his back turned to them.

''So what is this? You-''

That boy went staggering back, hitting the back of his head against a garbage bin, before collapsing. Issei's fist had went flying in a single moment after he had turned around and went into a boxing stance. Straight into the boy's chin. The second boy, his hands still inside his pockets, tried to dodge the blow, but couldn't. Issei's fist caught him in a dodge, from above. Issei felt pain, as his fist connected to the side of the boy's chin, driving him straight into the cold concrete.

The third boy had grabbed him, and was pushing him towards the wall. Issei realized that this man didn't feel that strong. He pushed his leg between his, and spun him counter clockwise, as hard as he could.

They switched places, and Issei, with a loud grunt, pushed the boy against the wall. The thud echoed between their voices, and that boy's breath was taken away. Issei elbowed the kid in his throat, still holding him against the wall.

A single punch, as he heard a loud crack. Probably had broken his nose.

''Hey...'' He spoke, only his wide eyes noticeable above the black medical mask. ''Just because Nakamura can push me around doesn't mean I will allow you guys to do so...''

He punched him again.

''And besides, my day has been so horrible that I honestly just want to die...''

He let out an uppercut against the boy's stomach. His legs gave out, as he collapsed against the wall. Issei stepped a single step back, before pulling his leg back.

He inhaled, and swung his leg towards the kid's head.

Another leg came from the side. A rather slender leg, wrapped in black leggings, one that was half-hidden under an ankle length pleated school skirt. Her boot kicked his leg, changing the course of his leg. Instead of kicking the boy's head, it hit the wall aside it.

It was Rio. He didn't know when she got so close. Her almost soulless black eyes, narrow looking into his.

''You wanna kill him, you idiot?'' She asked, her voice quiet and gentle.

Only then did he snap out of it.

* * *

 _Author's note._

 _A dark chapter, a bit on the shorter side. So now you know what happened to Issei's parents, and how he came to be in the situation he is now. It has to get worse, to get even more worse. Haha._

 _If this chapter reads a bit off, then please forgive me. I am quite rusty with my writing, and to write such raw emotions, it is hard for me to do._

 _Also, some trivia about me - I haven't been bullied basically at all. So no, this isn't wish fulfillment about my school days. This is just Issei literally snapping._

 _A reviewer had mention that he doesn't understand where my story is going. Well, this is setup. Things will happen, but first, I need to set the stage._

 _Next chapter:fluff with Rio?_

 _Thanks for reading, and please leave a review with your thoughts._


	4. Wounds

**CHAPTER 3:Wounds**

Rio stood there, looking at him. Slightly downcast head, her jet black eyes just ever so lightly staring through her eyebrows. He had ''snapped'' out of it. Of course, since he had ''snapped'', he only realized what had happened once it was already over. Her mouth was slightly open, in a questioning way, as if she was about to say something more.

As Issei took a step back, his eyes narrowed down, the rest of his expression hidden behind his medical mask. The boy, whose head he had almost smashed in with his kick, was holding onto his side, weeping in pain, not looking at him. The one he had hit first was conscious, leaning against the garbage bin, holding his chin. He was mean-mugging Issei, furious, but not moving. The 3rd boy was on the ground, trying to get up, but fell back down, while Issei was staring at him. His face was smeared in blood, even some on his jacket, and the ground.

Well, it wasn't like Issei didn't know how much a broken nose bled the first time around.

Rio stepped in front of him, no more than a couple of feet between them. She raised her hand, her slender fingers touching Issei's face. He twitched, as if in fear. She pulled his mask off, looking at his expression.

His eyes were angry, his eyebrows downturned. The rest of his face, previously hidden beneath the medical mask, only showed her an expression of fear. She leaned downwards just a little bit, looking at the ground, sighing softly.

'' _What a mess you've made...''_

She spun on her heel, facing the 3 boys who were slowly getting their bearings. One of them opened their mouth, but Rio's speaking shut him up.

''Wouldn't it be simply embarrassing if people found out you 3 got the shit beat out of you by Hyoudou alone?'' Her voice was still quiet and gentle, but there was a hint of venom there. ''If it was me, I'd be just about dying from embarrassment.''

She looked back at Issei, a smirk on her face. She tilted her head to the side and upwards a bit, almost looking at Issei from above. Her eyes narrowed down to slits. However, she wasn't angry.

Amused, she was.

Such an expression easily bewitched Issei.

Grabbing his hand into her own, she pulled him along, as she left the alleyway, leaving the three boys there. They didn't say a single thing back, looking at their backs. Exiting the damp alleyway, Issei felt a rush of coldness. He had been standing out of the wind after all.

Because of that coldness, he realized how warm the touch of a girl's hand was. Rio's palm was way too soft and slender for the fact that she been a swordsman for her whole life. Those slender fingers of hers, enveloping his, to him it seemed as if his hand was on fire. As his racing heart calmed down, his adrenaline plummeted, he realized he had actually hurt his fist by punching with all his strength. Even beginners knew that punching with bare knuckles only lead to injuries. However, at that moment he didn't care for that aching pain.

Still holding onto him, Rio kept walking into a seemingly well known direction. He kept trailing her, not saying a word. His gaze downcast, thinking about what was to happen in the future.

He had instantly understood why Rio had spoke those words to the 3 lackeys of Nakamura. Bullies like them would never go ahead and tell on him to the instructors. Their pride was too high for that. Though, he knew that a ''talk'' with Nakamura would soon follow.

It didn't take a very long time, before Issei almost ran into her slender back. She had stopped in front of an apartment building. Pretty high-end, from the looks of it. As she turned to face him, she raised the hand that was linked with Issei. Tilting her head to the side, they both stood with extended arms. Her fingers interloped with his, changing the grasp.

Issei didn't say a word, standing in the middle of the street, frozen. People looked back at them as they walked past.

His palm felt unbearably hot now, under that grasp.

''Today only, a one in a million chance, that I offer only to you,'' she spoke, her voice sugar sweet. ''Want me to pamper you?''

Issei let out a small laugh, _'I want you to love me,'_ he thought.

''Please do,'' So he said.

Inside of her apartment, as it turned out, was pretty barren. Not much to look at, though the room itself was expensive looking. What it was missing, was a personal touch. Something that proved that a person with a personality actually lived there, but Issei wasn't very surprised by that lack of it. At that moment, it simply looked like something out of a furniture magazine.

''It fits you,'' Issei spoke, quietly.

''Hmm, so an apartment that looks like from a design magazine, and without a single feminine touch, fits me?'' Rio exhaled, exaggerating. ''Should I revoke my offer...''

''I'm sorry,'' Issei answered. ''Give me a sword, I'll gut myself in repentance for spoiling this moment.''

''Well, actually that misunderstanding isn't rare at all – seppuku is done in a ceremonial way, usually with a tanto. You don't use a katana for that. More so, I would then have to take off your head after you're done, which would be a bother.''

She said, having taken off her outside clothes. Her eyes met Issei's, as she smiled. Under her dark coat, only a single white cardigan remained. The collar line was wide, showing off her perfectly symmetrical collar bones. Issei looked at them for a second, before turning his glance away.

A white cardigan, dark blue, long pleated skirt. Nothing more, and yet, she was mesmerizing. Beautiful.

''Are you gonna stand there?'' She asked, her expression serious, sitting down on a dark couch. ''Come over here.''

Without a word, he sat down on the coach, next to her. There was silence for a little while, before she touched his head gently, and pulled him downwards. His head fell into her lap, he felt her warm, gentle fingers play with his hair.

''There, there...'' She spoke, her words almost unheard. Issei looked at her from below, as she exhaled gently. ''Life's been rough lately, huh...''

The fabric of her skirt was soft, and so were her thighs. He trembled at the affection. He couldn't recall the last time he had felt such gentle touch. Not even that, he couldn't remember the last time he felt touch in of itself. The only ''touch'' he experienced in the past years was pain.

And Rio, who had always given Issei pain, be it from her fists or her wooden sword when they trained...now pampered him with such heavenly grasp.

Issei closed his eyes.

If there were heaven, this was probably as close as it could get to it on earth.

''I...in recent months often think about this path I've chosen,'' Issei spoke, his eyes closed. He only felt the gentle rustling of his hair, as Rio played with it. As if flood gates had been opened, the words simply flowed out of Issei's mouth. ''I do not think that I am cut out for being an exorcist...and not in the way of strength. I am indecisive, and I doubt myself. I have no talent for combat, nor book-smarts. I am absolutely as average as average gets.''

''...I don't dislike that part about you,'' Rio spoke, her voice gentle voice lulling Issei. ''You are small, but you have a lot of heart. You do your best, but you're always looking somewhere else. I often wonder, what are you thinking about?''

There was a silence. Issei moaned slightly, as Rio drove her finger behind his ear. She laughed, the tension breaking completely. After that small pause, Rio continued to speak.

''The thing is, if you believe that you are not cut out for being an exorcist, then so it shall be. However, if you believe your sword will be the sword that cuts off the head of the serpent, then so shall it be.''

Issei opened his eyes, looking at Rio's face from below. Her cat-like, black eyes looked at him, half closed. A gentle smile on her lips.

''Well, honestly, I don't think you have to be an exorcist like me and Shinji. You could be an ordinary exorcist, take on low-risk missions and find that girl you dream about. My future, however, was decided the moment I was born in the Juuzo family. I was born with that sin, and that sin shall carry me into that future...I think, an ordinary life would be the best for you...otherwise...''

Issei's eyes moved away, staring blankly to the side, ''Otherwise...''

''Otherwise, I think you will find nothing but suffering. Life should be precious, and if you decide to become a man who will sacrifice his life only to fight devils, then those devils shall consume you whole. There is nothing but darkness to be found, in fighting your whole life. Ordinary happiness would be the best for you.''

''...Ordinary happiness?'' Issei let out a cynical laugh. ''I have no idea what the word happiness means. I am a joke of a man, broken inside. I do not feel human. There is a pit inside there, black as black can be. If I think too much, the urge to let out a guttural scream starts to overtake me. If that anger ever comes out fully...''

Rio let out a small laugh, using both of her slender hands to scramble up his hair. ''What, have you been reading Osamu Dazai recently?''

He let out weak laugh, but to that Rio messed up his hair even more. After stopping that, Rio spoke again.

''I would like to think that you are a rather gentle man, but you must be careful. You don't want to hurt people, right?''

''Yes,'' Issei spoke. He thought of his mother, his father. ''I wish to protect people from the things that devils can do. Those unspeakable acts of cruelty.''

''Then be careful not to lose yourself to anger. Like today. I think...'' Rio paused looking down at Issei. Their glances met, and from Issei point of view, it looked as if Rio's whole eyes were black, even her sclera. ''I think that you would be a very competent at taking lives from people.''

On Issei's face, there was an unmistakable expression of surprise. His wide eyes stared at Rio. Her glance remained the same, her expression turning slightly bitter.

''Honestly, I...have a feeling you could easily be talented at killing people. You don't hesitate, but well...''

She went silent, still playing with Issei's hair, gentle.

''Your eyes are why I think so,'' she said, her eyes meeting Issei's own. ''My family...is one of samurai, as you know. The art of killing doesn't extended only to devils. There are many killers of people I've met. And those people have eyes of despair. Eyes like yours.''

 _A heart that doesn't believe in anything good in this world. Eyes that can only see the bad parts of life. A mind that has given up on any hope in this world._

''What was that saying again, 'eyes are the reflection of the soul', huh?'' Issei let out a small chuckle at himself, his eyes narrowing down to their usual scowl. An angry smile. ''I guess my stare only shows my past wounds.''

''Hiding your face from the world, so it can't see that expression of despair,'' Rio spoke, looking into the ceiling. ''But well, we can lick each other's wounds today, my dear lost one.''

She spoke, alluring. ''No matter if our parents failed in raising us...''

Since when was Rio this kind to him? She had to realize that he could not take this kind of kindness and closeness without quite literally falling in love with her.

''Well, it seems like you are the only one who is taking care of my wounds,'' Issei stated, letting his eyes close, that wicked smile disappearing from his face.

The hand that was ruffling his hair stopped.

''Having someone ordinary to ground me in this whole mess is what takes cares of me. Otherwise, I'd get caught up with this madness.''

''Is your home life that horrible?'' Issei asked, in a matter of fact kind of way.

Rio paused for a second, before sighing. Her voice, barely audible, as she answered. ''It's pretty crazy. These nice holidays, I had to duel my older brother, so he could prove that he is still the strongest in our family.''

''...So if you win, do you become the head of the family or something?''

''I guess. But if I become the head, I'm gonna tear down the whole fucking thing,'' Rio's voice had become louder, venomous. ''I just want to eat some cake and talk with my older brother...regular sibling stuff, not this madness.''

Issei let out a chuckle, at which Rio began to mess up his hair with both hands.

''That's very cute, coming from you,'' He looked at her from below, one eye open.

Her gentle hand went over his eyes, not letting him see at all.

There was a silence, and Rio began to hum softly.

Seeing such a side to the usually stoic, delinquent-like Rio, made Issei hopelessly happy.

''...Thank you. For the training, and for this. I don't know what I'd do without you,'' Issei's spoke, his voice as silent as Rio's usually is.

She hummed for a little while, before she spoke. ''Ah, the training. I just like to think that it's kind of funny. Did you know that the Juuzo family school of the sword is considered to be very powerful? It's very sought after among sword users, and there are only a few people who know it at the moment – right now, only the descendants of the Juuzo family. It's a guarded secret.''

Rio's arm wasn't covering his eyes anymore. He looked up at her. Adorned on her beautiful face, was a scornful smirk.

''And then there's you. In an unknown corner of this world, a regular boy of no linage is learning to use the sword from the ground up, using the great School of Juuzo,'' She let out a small chuckle. ''It's a spit in the face of my parents.''

''Won't you get in trouble if this gets out?''

''I don't care much about it. Besides, you don't plan to go around the world proclaiming your sword skills, right? Then it's fine.''

Issei sighed. ''Well, if the Juuzo family comes and hunts me down, then I'm gonna haunt you from the after life.''

''Fair enough,'' Rio answered, smiling.

''...So is this why you keep sabotaging yourself?'' Issei asked her, after a small pause. ''As a middle finger to your family?''

Rio looked taken aback, perhaps she hadn't thought that Issei had noticed her acting out of control so she wouldn't become an exorcist sooner.

''Keke, yeah,'' She answered, her face lighting up. ''Is it frustrating? I could suck up and become an exorcist pretty soon, if I wanted to. While you, have to grovel your way, class after class.''

Issei's face became somber for a second, before he let out a defeated sigh. ''Well, it kind of is. But it's just life, isn't it?''

''Yeah. Have to suffer to live. Otherwise, it ain't life.''

Rio spoke, her voice still as gentle and soft as ever.

''God is a cruel man,'' Issei stated, as pretentious as a teenager could be and to those words, Rio let out a hearty laugh. After that, they didn't speak much. Rio kept playing with his hair, and with his head on her soft lap, he fell into a deep slumber.

He dreamed of a life, in which he was happy. He didn't see nor Irina, nor Rio. He wasn't an exorcist in training. He was eating breakfast with both his parents, talking about some middle school homework he found hard.

While he was sleeping, Rio looked at the ceiling. Her gaze stoic, she looked down at the small boy. She didn't tell him that she knew his past. It was Shinji who told her about it. All of his suffering, she knew of it.

A very regular revenge story in motion. A dead parent, a disable parent. A very clear enemy to kill for that. For revenge. And she saw in those eyes, a wish to kill. And today's outburst had pretty much sealed that fate.

She sighed, looking down at him. There was a single tear running down his face, even in his sleep. Her slender finger moved downwards, wiping it lightly across his cheek.

''I wonder…what kind of a person will you become, dear lost one?'' Her slender fingers pulled Issei's fringe back, as she looked at his innocent, sleeping face. His eyelid was still damp.

''Will you glow like the halo of the sun?''

She let his hair fall back, almost covering his eyes.

'' _Or will you destroy this wretched world with your own hands?''_

Her gentle voice went unheard in that room. Leaning slightly on the huge, bolstered hand rest of the couch, she too, fell into a light sleep.

* * *

Months passed.

Nothing much had changed between him, Rio or Shinji, for that manner. They still trained. Issei began to work out more, training his muscle, rather than endurance. He had hit a small growth spurt, and with that, his muscle grew easily.

Even though he wished to stand across from Rio and look down on her, she had grown taller too, so he couldn't do that. As she was about to turn 15, she now looked like a woman. Wearing long skirts couldn't hide her waist-line, and that toned body of hers. Of course, as she was known as an Ice Queen, and a bit crazy at that, she wasn't particularly popular.

Aside from them two, well, 3 if you included the friendly waitress Hana-san, Issei didn't have any friends. He went on as a ghost in class.

Shinji, as if compensating for Issei's and Rio's lack of popularity, had become pretty much a Prince. Girls adored him, and so did teachers. He could do no wrong, and he would almost have to beat girls off with a stick, to get some alone time in class.

Nakamura still bothered Issei, but he fought him off, month, after month. Even if he got kicked in the face, or got a black eye or a broken nose, he remained stoic. He kept wearing those medical face masks, and in time, no one aside from Rio and Shinji, ever saw Issei with his face uncovered. Usually black face masks, but when those ran out, he wore white ones.

He didn't care for anything else but training and studying. His hair grew out so long that he began to use hairbands, borrowed from Rio, to tie his hair into a samurai-esque bun at the back.

There were no good news from the doctor of his mother.

Life was the same as always, pretty much.

Except for that day, in the early days of May. Just as the cherry trees were in full bloom, scattering their petals in the air, Issei walked out of a classroom, a small, round tube in his hand.

He received his diploma of education. A high-school education.

To receive an exorcists license, he had to receive the high-school education diploma. It was advanced for his age, shortening the process by a few years. It was like that for all of his class.

He had worked so hard, to receive those mediocre grades in that mediocre diploma. So many hours of hard work. So much stress.

And now, he had two choices. To attend the rest of the exorcist-only lectures or to try to take the exorcists license tests and graduate early. Well, there was a third option – to get chosen and simply promoted to an exorcist for showing talent. Which he didn't have.

He turned back, looking at the classroom where he had studied, noticing his fellow students laughing, drawing something on the classroom chalkboard. All of them happy, laughing. Nakamura was sitting on the window sill, noticing him. Issei's face, except for his narrow eyes, were hidden behind his facemask.

Nakamura's eyes trailed downwards, noticing the diploma in his hand. He scoffed softly, looking back to his friends, laughing at some joke. Both boys decided to ignore each other. Issei walked past the classroom, down the stairs and exited the building.

There, on the railing by the outside stairs, Shinji was leaning against them. Noticing the small thing in Issei's hands, on his face, there appeared a pleasant smile.

''Congrats, Issei Hyoudou the High-School Educated!''

He said, and clapped three times. Then he showed Issei a thumbs up, winking with a single eye, like some manga character.

''That's the worst title I've ever heard,'' Issei let out a small sigh, titling his head to side, one-eye closed.

Shinji laughed, as they began to walk together.

''So, how do you feel now? Like a new man? Right? A true turning point in life!''

''I don't feel a fuckin' thing,'' Issei spat out, like a delinquent.

Shinji sighed. ''Issei Hyoudou The Most Negative.''

Issei let out a laugh at that, taking off his face mask. ''That sounds a lot better.''

As they walked, it was obvious that Shinji was leading him somewhere. Well, Issei had a good idea where, so he didn't protest. He was, after all, in somewhat of a good mood.

''...But well, I guess it feels good, to have the whole thing off my back.''

Shinji's arm wrapped around Issei's shoulder, as he leaned into him. His other arm messing up his hair. Issei, after letting the older boy show his affection, pushed him off.

''It's gonna be fine!'' He shouted, stumbling backwards from Issei.

Issei shrugged, as they walked. Shinji was in front of him, his arms folded behind his head.

With some more small talk, they arrived at the small cafe. Entering, Hana-san, the friendly waitress, waved at them both, welcoming them in. Rio was huddled up in one of the corners. An azure blue tracksuit jacket on her shoulders, and her usual, ankle length pleated skirt. She was reading a worn-down book, Her leg was put up on the same chair she was sitting in, as she rested her chin on her knee. Her sword, in a sheath and a dark red fabric sleeve, rested against a chair at her side. Overall, she looked pretty comfortable there. Noticing them, she stared at them through her eyebrows, and waved for them to sit down.

Issei sat down opposite of her, while Shinji sat down next to her. Rio's glance remained downturned, but when their eyes met, she simply said a single word.

''Congrats,'' in her gentle voice.

Issei simply nodded to that.

Instead of taking orders from them two, Hana-san, without saying a word, placed a cake on the middle of their table. It was covered in a white cream, slightly messy, witch slices of strawberries on top. Looking more like a birthday cake, Issei was taken aback. Had he forgotten someones birthday?

Issei's eyes widened at the gesture. He looked at Hana-san, with a questioning glance, but she just sighed softly and smiled at him, her arms at her own sides.

''Congratulations on ''graduating''!'' She said, exaggerating the last part of the sentence. ''You worked hard. So, I worked hard on a cake. I made it myself, so it tastes of sugar, cream and my love!''

Issei stared at the older girl, before turning his glance away, looking downwards. His own fingers interlaced, he let out a sound that reminded a whimper, before speaking. The thought of the cake being for him never even crossed his mind.

''Thank you very much. You are too kind to me.''

She too, ruffled his hair, standing next to him. On her face, was a bashful smile. She seemed a bit sad at the reaction from Issei, but well, it was very much like him. He took a piece and bit into it. Sugar rush, was the only way to describe it. It was sickeningly sweet, even the bits of strawberry felt sour in comparison.

''Too sweet, hahaha...'' He said, but he kept eating that piece, chomping it down with reckless abandon.

Shinji took a piece, too. ''Type 2 diabetes, here I come!'' He said, after taking a single bite. But he too, with a soft smile on his face, ate the piece.

Rio, having taken a bite too, widened her eyes. It was so sweet, that it managed to break her serious glance.

''...It can't be that sweet…'' Hana-san answered, the confident smile draining from her face, as she took a piece herself, and bit into it.

Her eyes went wide, and then, she let out a small scream, that scared the trio.

''I probably put in sugar two times...'' She sighed, deeply. ''I'm sorry. I did my best, though.''

Issei took another piece, and ate with a smile on his face. ''Don't be. It's perfect the way it is. Your love is seriously strong...''

Seeing that display of his emotions and him joking on his own, she let out a laugh of her own. Then, after having taken some glasses from the back, she sat down next to Issei. And then, she placed the sake on the table. All of them, excluding Hana-san herself, were minors. Underage.

But, Issei and Shinji poured for themselves, without saying a word. Wasn't the first time both of the boys drank alcohol. Issei assumed that the fact that Hana-san didn't say a word was because of Shinji's machinations behind the scenes. He, after all, was the boy who loved to drink.

''It's a slow day anyways. I work too hard for this little shack, and I can take it easy for a day, I deserve it.'' She ruffled her own feathers, as she downed the small glass of sake.

Issei let out a laugh, and clinked the glass with Shinji, as he poured it down his throat. It tasted less bitter than he expected. The aroma was sweat to his nose. But well, after the pure sugar of Hana-san's cake, everything would taste bitter. Rio didn't drink the sake, to which, none of them were surprised. Warriors don't drink, Issei guessed. Or maybe it was because she was underage.

He, being underaged, didn't care at all.

They clinked together another round of sake, as they talked. Nothing but small talk. Most of it was Shinji, who was the natural talker of them. When his topics ran out, Issei brought up the exorcist tests, as they discussed them. In the end, it all came down to this - it was split into a few different parts, one of them being the written tests, which was all theoretic, and pretty much just memory based. Another was the practical tests, showing aptitude for exorcism in general, and the third was the physical test. One, in which you had to spar with your instructors – and the guidelines for passing that one were very...controversial. Some people were failed in a minute, some were beaten up for ten and still passed.

''I'll make them wet themselves, when the time comes...'' Rio spoke, very matter of fact, her eyes narrowing down menacingly.

Issei laughed. ''I have no doubt at all that you will manage to do that.''

''...They probably will make you skip it, you know?'' Shinji spoke, downing another round of sake. To that, Issei did too. He wanted to keep up, even in drinking.

''Boring...'' Rio sighed, hiding her face behind her slender arms.

Hana-san rested her head on her palm, her elbow on the table, listening to the brief exorcist talk. Shinji had come up with some more topics to discuss, so Issei simply sat in silence, happily eating the cake. It didn't matter that it was too sweet for his taste – he could only feel the warmth of the fact that someone had made a cake just for him. To congratulate him.

Every now and then, Shinji asked either him or Rio things to involve them in the conversation, and he answered those stupid questions with a smile. Hana-san naturally spoke with Shinji, as it looked like she enjoyed the small talk the most. Rio was glancing into her book. Issei leaned back in his seat. The sake had created a warm pit in his stomach, while his friends had created the warmth in his heart. Catching himself with such corny thoughts, he let out a deep, hearty laugh.

That day...that day was a good day.

* * *

It was later, that same day. He had dropped of his diploma in his dorm room, and taken all of his school books, that didn't relate to exorcism in his bag, and went to their desolate training place. That same, abandoned saw mill, that they had made into their very own ''secret base''. Shinji and Rio were there already, when he had arrived. They were standing around in the front of the old sawmill building, on the old, cracked road, inside the territory.

Still feeling a bit under the influence, it didn't take long for the two boys to start messing around. In one hand, Issei held a small knife. In his other, he had a school book. He threw it towards Rio, who in a swift motion, drew her sword and cut it in half. Hardcover and all. Pages scattered into air, twirling around Rio's frozen statue. Her eyes narrow, as she turned her gaze towards Issei.

''You're so cool, sis!'' Shinji shouted, his face still red, blushed from the alcohol.

She sheated her sword, and went over to Issei. Her slender arm grabbed a book out of his bag, and as she planted her foot into the ground, she flung it at Shinji.

The drunkard swiftly stepped forwards, and punched the book towards Issei, who exhaled and flung his knife at it. It met the book halfway into it's flight, stabbing straight into it's center, and straight up stopping it's flight. It bounced back, skidding across the ground and stopping at Shinji's feet.

''...That's a little bit more than impressive,'' Shinji stated, as his wide eyes went up from his feet, towards Issei, who simply shrugged.

''It's my only talent in this whole wide world. I should have became a traveling circus worker, keke. They throw knives, right?'' Issei laughed at himself, dejectedly.

Issei took out more knives from his backpack, and began to throw those three around himself, catching them at random. Sharp, real knives, but he juggled them as if play things. He balanced one of them on top of his finger and then, with a flick of his finger, threw it in the air, and caught it behind his back.

Simply playing around.

Rio didn't say a word, and just threw a book into the air. Issei, understanding what she wanted, caught one of his knives out of from the air, and flung it at the flying book. With a thud, that book went flying into a different direction. Another two books, thrown at the same time, met their fate the same way, with Issei's knives in them, mid-flight. Issei looked at Rio and Shinji, a little bit stressed out by their attention, and then he began to gather up the books and his knives.

''Wait, weren't it like, you had to stand a certain distance for the rotation of the blade to be at the pointy end when it hits the target?'' Shinji asked, one eye more narrow than the other.

''He doesn't spin the blade,'' Rio stated, not looking at him.

Issei paused, looking at Rio. ''I'm surprised you noticed, but I guess it's you, so I shouldn't be.'' He let out a small sigh. ''Yeah, I don't spin the blade when I throw it. I guess, it's a bit more similar to, like...needle throwing...rather than what you see in movies. I point the sharp towards the enemy and I throw it like that.''

''How long exactly, have you've had this talent?'' Shinji asked, this time he actually seemed impressed by Issei's skill. ''Can you throw shuriken?''

''Yeah, I can. As for how long - as long as I can remember. I even threw my knife into that devil Rio killed. It just didn't do anything,'' Issei sighed. ''I have always been able to throw things accurately. Most things. I saw the whole knife throwing in some western movie, so I tried it out in my house, with my mother's kitchen knives. Even if they are balanced wrong, I have pretty much no problems with throwing them.''

There was some more silence, to that. To break it, Issei continued to talk. ''From there, I practiced a lot, throwing and playing with whatever knives I could find. You wouldn't believe how badly balanced most knives are. The exorcist ones are fine, I guess, but could be better. For optimal throwing, you would actually need to make the handle smaller than it's useful for actually...you know, using it for cutting.''

''...Kind of like kunai, then?'' Rio asked, her head tilted to the side.

Issei let out a small chuckle. ''Yeah, like kunai.''

''Of course you would go straight for kunai, you samurai girl~!'' Shinji said, a smirk on his face.

Rio looked at Issei, her eyes narrowing down. ''Hey, skewer that asshole with your throwing skill, please.''

Issei rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a small, nervous laugh. ''I mean, theoretically I could throw your sword into him...''

''Sis, you're really scary when you're angry,'' Shinji spoke back to Rio. By now, he was sitting on the floor, taking a sip out of the oddly-label-less glass bottle. He had pulled it out of his backpack a while back. Issei assumed, that he had used his manly charm on Hana-san to get an another bottle of sake.

''Is that sake?'' She sighed, and then turned around, as if to not look at his stupidity. He raised the bottle towards Issei, who with a shrug, took it, and drank some more.

It left a wholesome feeling in his stomach, once again. At that point, he noticed that Rio had taken out her katana from her sheath, and was pointing it at Issei. With a screech, he jumped back.

''Here, take it,'' she said, after laughing for a bit. Obviously, having scared Issei on purpose.

''...You actually want me to throw it at Shinji?'' He asked, confused.

She sighed heavily. ''...You've never held a real sword before, right? We've only practiced with fake ones before, huh?''

''Now that you mention it, yeah,'' Issei shrugged, taking the sword by the handle. His fingers brushed Rio's, as they both held the sword for a second.

Once in his hand, Issei grabbed it with both hands, taking the usual stance, one that Rio had taught him. The stance of the Juuzo School of Sword.

''In hindsight, underage sake drinking doesn't go too well together with actual, real swords, but who am I to protest,'' Issei heard Shinji's smart-ass comment, and turned to face him.

He backed up, sliding across the ground, the sake bottle still in his hand. ''You look super cool, bro!''

Issei laughed, breaking the Juuzo school stance. He looked at the sword, moving it around, feeling it's weight. It felt just _right_ in his hands.

''...This sword, is probably like legendary or something, right?''

Rio's eyes widened, those almost soulless orbs staring into him. ''How'dya know?''

''It feels really good in my hands. Like, the weight distribution and the materials. Not too heavy, not too light. The handle feels...l just can't describe it.''

''It's made in the late 16th century, crafted for a general, and then when it was taken from said general by a Juuzo family member in a duel, it became a family heirloom.''

''...That's pretty badass, honestly,'' Issei responded to that, before taking stance once again, and going through the motions of swinging.

It felt effortless. The tens of thousands of swings he did with a wooden sword showed in his movement. He moved across the empty ground, swinging into the air, as if dancing.

He lowered the sword, turning to Rio, but instead, he on instinct swung it from below, in an arc. The book that Rio had thrown cut apart in an instant, like butter, without resistance. The pages scattered in the air, as Issei remained motionless, similar to how Rio looked before.

''Not bad. Your form is lacking, though. But a very well showing of reflex, honestly,'' She complemented him.

He lingered, looking at the sword. The dark violet handle felt like it belonged in his hand. Alluring, even. The spine of the sword was dark, while the blade itself shimmered in the late-noon sun.

''...I wonder how many lives of devils' has this sword taken...'' Issei stated.

To which, Rio sighed. ''It has probably killed 10 times more people than devils. The japanese of the samurai era, all they did was kill each other.''

The somber mood was broken by Shinji.

''...Not a bad life, huh? I'd totally be a ronin, just travel around dueling people and drink sake. What do you think, Issei?''

Rio looked at him, staring daggers.

''Well, it was a manly way to live, right? Doesn't sound too bad, honestly,'' Issei answered, turning Rio's sword slightly against himself, as he gave it back to her. ''I guess, if we had lived back then, you'd be the ronin, I'd be the peasant, and Rio would be the great sister to the head of the Juuzo School of Samurai.''

She bunked him on the shoulder for that. ''A peasant with a borrowed sword could also become a ronin, remember that.''

Issei shrugged. ''Not a good one, though.''

She too, shrugged. The discussion had died down, so they spent the rest of the time throwing around Issei's school books, destroying them whichever way they could, as Issei and Shinji finished off the bottle of sake.

While walking back into the city, through the forest, it was already night-time. A very warm, almost-summer like night. Somewhere alnog the way, while back into the city, Shinji flung the empty sake bottle into the air. Issei's knife made it become shards, right as it was suppose to come flying back down. Glass rained down on the street, and so, right as Issei collected his thrown knife from the ground, they began to run away, with Rio cursing them both.

They were acting like drunkard hooligans, but in a way, it was exactly what they were. Right as the trio was about to split up – Issei back to his dorm, and Rio and Shinji their own, separate apartments, Rio spoke up, towards Issei. His cheeks weren't flushed anymore, the alcohol having worn down.

''Ah right… about that knife throwing. You should aim for the eyes next time. No mercy,'' She said, her own eyes narrow like slits. Her soulless black ones met Issei's dull brown.

To that, Issei nodded.

As they split up, and Issei began to walk back to the dorms all alone, he stopped and stared at the sky. The only thing he saw in it, was the redish hue of light pollution.

With a sigh, he began to walk once again. That happiness he felt when together with those two was slowly fading, as they had separated for the night.

Then he laughed to himself, it having finally dawned on him. Maybe it was the sake.

He didn't care that much for being an exorcist – he simply wanted to stand side to side with Rio and Shinji. He wanted to be strong like them, and he wanted for these days to never end. These days of training, eating and just messing around together.

In those months, Irina was on his mind less and less. He could barely remember anything about her anymore. Her voice, her eye color, the way she carried herself, it was all a blur. Sometimes he even wondered if all of that actually happened at all. He wondered about how her exorcist life was going...knowing her, she probably was one of the most popular girls there.

So he wouldn't be angry at her, if she had totally forgotten him, like he was slowly forgetting her. It was just natural. Childhood crushes were just that – childish.

And he had no time for childish things. Toys had been thrown away a long time ago, so he only played with knives.

* * *

London, England.

A rather slender japanese girl with two twintails stood, sighing. Her usual smiling face was adorned by an expression that said ''sorry''. A bit a far from her, stood two of her friends.

And across from her, stood a tall boy with a slender statue, a year older than her. His face was rather handsome. His blue eyes showed determination, as he began to speak, in English.

''Ever since we played volleyball together, I have been thinking about you. Irina, will you please go out with me?'' He said, with a smile on his face.

''Sorry, I can't accept your feelings. I have someone else I like,'' She said, without hesitation, rejecting the boy.

He let out a dejected laugh. ''I understand.''

''I hope we can remain friends?'' She asked, cheerfully. The boy, his heart broken, nodded and waved, before trying to walk off.

One of Irina's friends grabbed his shoulder, whispering into his ear.

''Don't worry, any girl would want you, but Irina's special. She made this promise with her childhood friend back in Japan, so she won't accept anyone's feelings until she meets that boy again. She's super childish, right?''

That story made the boys heart ache even more, she he let out a bitter laugh and left.

Irina shrugged. And to that, one of her friends spoke.

''You're wasting your youth, miss super popular!''

''I don't care!'' She shouted back. ''I made a promise, I'm gonna keep it!''

And to that, both of her friends sighed.

''...Too pure.''

''What an angel...''

* * *

 _Author's note._

 _Quite a bit happens. We learn about Rio's family. I keep reintroducing the cafe staff member Hana-san, who is always called with the -san. Issei gets his high-school diploma, so he can try to become a real exorcist. My headcannon for the teenage/child exorcists is that they are just the best of the best. High-intellect is one of the separating factors. Of course, high-school level stuff can also be bored into your head, a.k.a the this Issei way._

 _In my mind, childhood separation love stories are unrealistic as all fuck. Issei is fucked up, and he latches on the warmth that he gets. He is pessimistic, so of course, he'd expect for Irina to forget him. But well, Irina is just that kind of a girl, a literal angel. She's waiting for him, like in a fairy tale._

 _...too bad I write tragedies._

 _This isn't a regular exorcist Issei story. You can trust me on that. All of this, just sets the stage._

 _Also, aren't I kind? I gave Issei a special skill! He can throw things pretty well. Too bad he didn't decide to be a knife thrower, rather than an exorcist, haha._

 _Sorry for the delay. This chapter was difficult for me to write, for many reasons. The most important one being the fact that I couldn't decide on Rio's and Issei's relationship boundaries, and how far I could push them both. Trust me, the other version was more pain than fluff. But Rio is a good girl. She doesn't have reason not be one._

 _Also, some more trivia about me, the next time I update, I'll probably be a university dropout. It's more of a ''watch me fall'' than try to save it situation. I'm literally lost in the world. I ain't never had a meaning._


	5. Star Shopping

_**CHAPTER 4:Star Shopping**_

Sweat.

Perhaps, it was the wrong thing to focus on, given the situation, but nevertheless, Issei's eyes kept looking at the bead of sweat that was sliding downwards from Rio's collarbone, and over her solar plexus, straight down. Surely, it would end up between her small breasts, but those were covered by her sports bra, that was under her black tank top.

As he stared, he dodged her sword, it going just above his head. He felt the straight, wooden edge catch the top of his wild, drenched hair, and almost pull his head along. It was over in a split second, as they had changed positions, and Issei dodged a few more swings of her sword.

Or perhaps the elastic band of her sports bra would stop the bead of sweat. He wondered, as he swung his wooden sword from the left side, and almost instantly raised his leg over the leg sweep that Rio was trying to do.

They exchanged places, swinging wildly, not connecting. He himself was drenched in sweat. It was almost as if he was standing underwater. His movement had felt almost delayed. But even through the sluggishness, somehow, he was able to spar with Rio half-effectively.

He was sure that to blame, it was the simple fact of it being the middle of the summer. Hot, and humid. There was not a single thing he had to do, but to train his body. And thus, he did. He liked the act of training, since it kept his mind out of the gutter. Kept him from thinking bad thoughts.

But then again, that day was simply too hot to function properly anyways. Even all through his own musings, they hadn't stopped the friendly spar.

For a few seconds of time, as his tunnel vision came off, between attacks, Issei heard the screeching of cicadas.

Of course, he knew that she wasn't serious whatsoever. She could probably kill him if she wanted to, with that wooden sword. But she hadn't.

His eyes widened, as his focus came back. In that split second, he realized that his body couldn't dodge anymore, that autopilot movement halting to a frozen state. And then, it was over. Rio held the wooden sword at his neck, but hadn't hit him.

''I'm done,'' she spat, as she turned around and flung the wooden sword to the side. Then she picked up a bottle of water from the ground and poured it all over herself.

Issei stared at her for a few seconds, as she tussled her own hair and began to drink. A few seconds later he decided to stop being a lecher and collapsed on the hot asphalt under his feet. Spreading his limbs like a starfish, he looked at the sky.

Small white clouds rolled over the azure sky. When the sun wasn't cooking them alive, the humidity was drowning them. Even in the shadows of the trees, there were no escape. The humming of cicadas were so ever-present, that his mind didn't even register their sound anymore.

A few minutes later, Rio had went over to him, looking downwards, the bottle of water still in her hand. Her foot, a bit too close to his face, as she smirked. From that distance, he could see beads of sweats roll down her bare legs.

Only a few seconds, until Issei realized what she was about to do. He let out a lowly sigh, before she poured the contents of her water bottle over his face. He opened his mouth like dried fish, half-drinking, half-drowning in the water.

She chuckled, a mischievous smile adorned her face.

...Overall, it was pleasant.

''Thanks,'' he said.

She snickered, sitting down on the grass nearby and began to stretch. Leaning from side to side, she spoke. ''You're awfully slow, today especially. It's been like this for a while, you know.''

''...It's hot,'' Issei waved his hand, barely raising it from the ground.

''How have you been sleeping?''

''Huh?" Issei raised his head to look at Rio. This was the first time she had asked such a random question. Her speaking, and her questions in particular, usually had purpose.

''Do you find it easy to fall asleep? Do you wake up in the middle of the night? Do you feel awake and refreshed when you wake up?'' She began to list off questions without waiting for answers.

''Recently, it's been harder to fall asleep,'' Issei answered, off handed. ''But I've never, ever have been a good sleeper. My sleep terrors have become lesser, though. Less dreams, too.''

''You're probably over training, you know?'' She asked, her soft voice almost soothing, as if she was worried about him.

''Yeah, I know,'' Issei smiled. ''I have no idea how long I'll be able to keep this up, but as long you're gonna train me, I'm gonna tough it out.''

''It's kind of counter productive,'' Rio sighed, looking downwards. ''I know the idea that the more you train, the stronger you'll become, but life doesn't work that way. It's just gonna get harder and harder, you'll see your own strength diminish, and the wounds of training will never heal. Your body will burn out, and so will your discipline.''

''...You're pretty scary when you speak like that,'' Issei said, seeing the image of his own body combusting inside his mind. The house of cards that was his training regime, collapse in on itself.

''Well, I'd recommend not training for a week, and then slowly coming back into it. At least, that's what my trainers made me do when I began to get insomnia from overtraining.''

''And did you?'' Issei asked, raising his chest up, and looking Rio in the eyes. Her bangs were sticking to her forehead.

''...No, I began lying about my insomnia...'' She said, tilting her head to the side.

Issei smiled at her. ''Miss Rio, I sleep like a baby.''

She exhaled through her nose, almost cracking a smile, ''Good to hear. Then we will continue this training till the end of summer. When September comes, we'll take a little break.''

They both glanced at each other, as Issei cracked a little smile, nodding. ''Sounds good. What about today? I think we still have grappling left.''

''You stink like a wet dog,'' She laughed. ''I know you want my legs around your neck, but in this heat, it ain't happening...''

Issei dropped on his back, his face a little bit redder from Rio's teasing. The straight up dissonance between her soft voice and her teasing made for a uniquely cute experience.

''When is Shinji getting back, anyways?'' Issei asked, after a little while of silence.

''Want his legs around your neck, huh?''

''Hmm, if you won't use yours, then what choice to do I have?'' Issei shot back.

''Fair enough,'' She nodded. ''In a week or so. Not everyone can play hooky like we do all summer, huh.''

Of course, Rio wasn't going back home in the summer vacation because she didn't want to. As she said, if her brother isn't there, then it's not worth it. Issei himself didn't go back because he had nowhere to go back to. Only Shinji went back on his own accord.

''...Your brother is busy then, huh,'' Issei spoke, trying to keep the conversation rolling.

Rio glanced at him, her glance as cold as always. ''Yeah. He said there's some really big shit going down behind the scenes, but everyone is trying to be very hush-hush with it.''

Rio looked around, and then scooped closer to him. Both of them sat on the ground, legs crossed, looking at each other. She leaned in closer, and so did Issei in response. Glancing into those pitch black eyes, it would have been far too easy to get lost in them.

''...Apparently, there might be some traitors inside my brother's exorcist branch. People who are working with some devil groups,'' Rio spoke, her voice almost silent. ''Some important people. Right now, they are trying to sniff out those moles. Don't speak about this to anyone, though.''

''Of course,'' Issei nodded. ''I mean, it wouldn't be that hard to pull it off, right?''

Rio tilted her head to the side. ''I guess you are right. The higher-ups never have to specifically touch holy water, crosses, etc. They don't have to spend long times in churches. Strong devils can handle the effects for very long periods of time.''

Issei nodded, ''I've thought about it a lot, honestly. There could be so many people around us, who we never know are devils. Not everyone looks crazy and kills people on sight.''

''That's a sombre thought,'' Rio said, and went quiet. ''But we still kill them all the same.''

Issei's eyes narrowed down. ''We kill them all.''

Sometimes it was easy to forget the anger Issei held. The ache to kill them all. To kill them dead. The will for vengeance for the things that a devil did to his family, Rio thought.

Then, there was silence. Issei kept staring at the sky, while Rio stretched some more. Her glance wandered over the trees nearby.

''...Hey, wanna go for a swim?'' Issei asked, not looking at her.

''I don't have any swimwear with me,'' Rio responded, not looking at him. ''Where would we go, anyways?''

''Ah, that small river that we run by, on the way here,'' Issei spoke, looking at Rio, who nodded. ''I decided to follow it one day. It takes a while, but it starts by a waterfall. It's a nice little spot, honestly.''

He met Rio's questioning glance, tilting his head to the side.

''I didn't take you for a forest explorer, that's all,'' Rio answered his unspoken question.

''Honestly, I've come to like the solitude of forests. It's kind of comforting,'' Issei spoke, clenching his scarred arm. Rio's glance followed Issei's motion. The scars had healed, of course, but it still looked like a dog had almost bitten his arm off. Such a scar, would remain with him forever.

A scar to remind him of his first ''hunt''.

''...Sounds nice,'' Rio answered, with a tiresome exhale, looking away from him.

They listened to the cicadas sing for a while.

''Wanna head back, and grab something to eat?''

Rio nodded, jumping up to her feet, while Issei groaned like an old man, getting himself up from the ground. He was glad they weren't running back, since his whole body felt like mush.

* * *

After getting some food, they split up for an hour or so, and then when they met back up, Rio was wearing something different than usual.

It was a white sundress. It still reached to almost her ankles, but it was white. Not black, like most of what she wore. She stared at him sheepishly with her cat-like eyes. Issei dodged her glance, but noticed her striking black fingernails, against the white of her dress.

''It's cute,'' Issei spoke, unabashed.

''Thanks,'' Rio answered, equally bold, as she pulled the strap of her bag further up her shoulder.

Issei was wearing the same training shorts, but a different t-shirt. White and black, stripped. He couldn't tell when it had happened, but somewhere along the year, his wardrobe had come to match Rio's and Shinji's. Black, gray, dark blue. Stripped black and white was fine too. Sports leggings, hoodies too big.

Some of his clothes were second hand, since he was a growing boy. Traded the clothing that was too small to something that fit. Easy, cheap.

Issei's eyeballs moved to the right side of his orbital area, which Rio noticed.

...The black clothes, were probably because he was trying to look mature, and since his two friends looked mature wearing those kinds of clothing, he thought to himself. If he imitated those who seemed grown up, maybe he'd grow up soon, too.

 _''...Earth to Issei.''_

Rio spoke, as both of them were standing in the middle of a crosswalk, facing each other, without moving.

''Ah,'' Issei snapped out of it. ''Shall we go?''

She nodded, swiping her fringe to the side. Issei glanced at her straight black hair for a moment. Pulled into a bun at the back, a fringe to her eyebrows, slightly uneven, and side bangs that reached to her mouth. A classic ''hime'' cut. Her hair had grown a lot longer, but so was his own. Long, wild, covering half of his face. Walking side to side, made Issei blush for a second. Perhaps other people would think that they are on a date?

But if two people of the opposite sex decide to go somewhere, alone, wouldn't that just be a date? Or perhaps it should have been stated as such? Was the intent the defining fact of what it meant to be on a ''date'' or not?

He didn't know. He hadn't been on date, at least, not a real one. He lacked the experience to tell. Whatever this was, it was close enough for him.

Going into the forest, Issei noticed that Rio was still wearing her sneakers. They clashed hard against the white sundress, but that kind of unwillingness to compromise was exactly like Rio. He'd sooner see pigs fly than see Rio in sandals or flip-flops. Sneakers let her move easily.

It was about an hour later, that Rio spoke, in a tone that wasn't particularly emotional, but it seemed to side on the negative.

''...This isn't ''pretty close'' to our training spot.''

Issei looked back at her, as he had taken the lead. The tall trees surrounded them, as they stood on the small path, that had been created by years of not-so-often travelers.

''...You scared?'' He asked, and spun around to continue walking.

Rio rolled her eyes at Issei's cheeky question. Looking into the sky, she sheepishly answered. ''...How far is it, _you big bad wolf?''_

''I already hear the rushing water, it's close,'' Issei answered, spinning around. Looking at Rio, with a tilted head, he spoke under his breath. ''Sorry. I thought it was a lot closer.''

With narrow eyes, Rio answered. ''Don't worry about it.''

It didn't take long for them to reach the rockface of the waterfall. Right around where it began, the trees had become a lot sparser. The rock face itself reached into the sky, with the mountain behind it, for at least 5 stories, if Issei had to eyeball it. It tapered off at the top, but that side was just vertical. The pond that had formed in front of it, that flowed into a river, and disappeared downwards somewhere near their trail. But from one of the sides, the land raised upwards, created a cavern below.

Issei stood at that edge, listening to the rushing water, his eyes looking at the sky, and his mind – in the clouds.

''Anything interesting?'' Rio asked, glancing upwards as well.

''The sky is beautiful today.''

Small clouds continued to roll across the azure sky, same as before.

''...It's the same sky as always.'' Rio answered, bluntly.

While he continued to look at the sky, she took off her clothes. He turned to face her. A pretty normal, two piece, black swimwear. Her hips might have grown, but Rio still was, almost as flat as a board.

''...C'mon Issei, at least don't flaunt your disappointment so openly on your face,'' Rio spoke with a half-disgusted expression, and then, looked over the edge, at the pond. ''Good 5 feet or so to jump, I'd say.''

He took of his t-shirt, opting to swim in his shorts.

''You're not much to look at either,'' Rio snickered, as an answer to his previous oogling.

Giving her a small nod of defeat, they both glanced into the dark blueish-green water below. Before she could ask about the state of the water, Issei jumped past her, head first. He disappeared into the water for a few seconds, before emerging. Still alive, and without a broken neck. He turned to float on his back, and looked at her, smug.

''Such an easy going guy, eh...''

She sighed with a small smile, and jumped after him.

The water was just right. Not cold, and not warm enough to not be refreshing.

Leisurely swimming around, in the middle of the summer, with a cute girl, what more could a boy Issei's age ask for? So he enjoyed it, floating below the water, holding his breath, looking at the sun from below the water. It was clear enough to simply give the world a greenish-blue tint.

Rio slowly swam above him, not fully submerged, so he swam up and touched her toned stomach with a single finger, and then she almost drowned him.

After that, he stood directly under the waterfall, and tried to meditate. Rio's smug chuckle took him out of it, so that tactic didn't help him become stronger. The water was too warm, anyways.

It was just your regular teenager stuff. That day, was almost too normal for what they were.

Issei laid in the grass, arms behind his head, staring at the passing clouds. His whole body in the sun, he was cooking alive. So more swimming was needed, he had decided. He turned around, and noticed Rio.

In the shade, she had fallen asleep. That cold, prideful expression she always kept, always staring through her eyebrows, was gone. Her long lashes rested against each other, on a gentle, neutral expression. Her lips slightly parted.

Such a vulnerable expression on Rio, of all people, it almost made him look away. A forbidden fruit, of sorts. This felt like something he had no right to see. But if the forever-on-guard Rio had fallen asleep, that meant that she trusted him, he hoped.

He leaned his head back, looking at the sky for a few seconds, before returning his glance back to Rio. Legs and arms spread, in what appeared to be, a very comfortable position, as she laid on her back. She had put on her white sundress, which had wet spots around where her swimsuit was. Her slender arms and legs were rather pale, as such, she probably didn't tan well, he thought.

He turned away.

For her strength, she didn't look very muscular, nor strong. After all, Rio was a 15 year old girl. She was skilled, and she trained very hard, and it seemed as if she never felt hardship, or ever got tired.

But obviously, she was just as human as he was. She could overwork herself. She wanted to rest, too. Such a thing was easily forgotten, in the world that they lived in.

After training so hard for herself, and at the same time, training someone like himself, was difficult and tiring, Issei thought.

So it wasn't surprising, that she had fallen asleep, in the shade.

The sun was slowly starting to set, having moved ever so close to the horizon. An orange range, a hue of such light had began to shine. Issei slowly moved into the water, floating on his back. He submerged the back of his head, and his ears.

Now, only the sound of flowing water filled his senses. Everything else was a lack of sound, there, under the water. Even the infinite sounds of cicadas, was gone. He closed his eyes.

* * *

When he came to, it was already nighttime.

''...You should have woken me up, before,'' Rio spoke, with her usual cold expression.

Issei sighed, ''Didn't want to.''

He propped himself up on his elbows, looking at her. She was laying on the grass, staring upwards, opposite of Issei. Her legs were near his face, and only one of their arms were close. After swimming for a long while, he had laid down to stare at the sky. He too, had fallen asleep. However, his sleeping spot wasn't near Rio's. So, it could only mean that she had moved closer to him.

''Look at the sky.''

He dropped himself back down, and looked.

His breath paused for a while. Bedazzled, he didn't say a word, he just stared at the sky. And the more he looked, the more he saw.

The pitch black sky was alight by stars. Too many to count. Too many to comprehend. Shining, dazzling, pulsating. An infinity in a single glance. And right in the middle of it all, it looked as if someone had spilled white over that background. It was too much to take in. As if the universe was expanding there and then, right in front of their eyes. And that pulsating white, a line, a straight blob, that felt just outside of his vision. But, he felt as if it was there. Just in the corner of his eyes, but at the same time, everywhere.

''...Hey, is that the milky way?''

Issei asked, after a while.

''...I think it is,'' Rio responded. ''I just didn't think you could actually see it with your own eyes.''

Undoubtedly, that heavenly scene, was there, beyond his finger tips. He raised his hand into the air. His palm blocked out an infinity of stars, leaving a pitch black imprint where they were. And yet, with such an abstract number of stars blocked out, there were infinite more, that weren't.

Even if it looked close, it was millions of miles outside of his reach. Nor his arms, nor he himself, would ever reach those stars.

He dropped his hand down, and it just barely touched Rio's. He twitched, and pulled back, on reflex.

''You did say that the sky was beautiful today, and I laughed at you for it,'' Rio spoke. ''but you were right. I'm sorry.''

Her gentle voice, just ever-so audible, under that sky, calmed him.

''Don't be. Even I didn't expect such a thing.''

Issei responded, and kept staring upwards.

A shooting star flew by, shinning brighter than any other. It set the already dazzling sky asunder. And then it disappeared, into complete darkness, after only a few seconds. Burnt out.

''...What did you wish for?''

Rio asked, very much unlike her.

In fact, Issei hadn't wished for anything. He was too taken aback, at that moment, to even think. He was speechless, thoughtless. Besides, he didn't even believe that shooting stars could grant wishes. But seeing it in real life, that such beauty existed in this world...

''...I wished that the these days would continue forever.''

He heard Rio let out a soft exhale.

''They won't.''

She said, her soft voice - comforting.

Issei felt her fingers, on his hand. At first, he almost pulled away. Her fingers were too soft. Too gentle. They wrapped around his. She did it, first, on purpose.

They held hands under the milky way of heaven.

''...but we are going to be fine. You are, too,'' Rio spoke. ''As long as this sky exists, we're gonna be fine.''

Issei grasped her fingers tighter, unaware of it himself.

''Why me?'' He asked.

''You're a lonely person. Just a kid,'' Rio answered. ''And I'm the same. Shinji is, too. Doesn't matter if he puts up that cheerful front.''

She spoke of Shinji, knowing a lot more about him, the ''real'' him, then he did. Even if Shinji was friendly and close with him, it wasn't like they ever talked as seriously as he had with Rio.

''...If I had to answer why I ''chose'' you, it would be because I felt sorry for you, I guess. I am a person who is fine alone. People who seek me out, always want something from me. Be it my body, or my skills, or my connections, whatever it was, I didn't want anything to do with them. When we first were put together, you didn't want anything from me. You looked uncomfortable just because you felt like your existence bothered me. And it made me want to pity you.''

Issei laughed. A very forced laugh. ''You make me seem even more pathetic than I am.''

She too, laughed, moving her fingers a bit, making Issei squirm.

''And I thought that someone like you would be good vessel to give this strength to,'' Rio spoke, her voice almost a whisper. Issei barely heard it.

 _''...because I trust in your strength, my dear lost one.''_

One after another, shooting stars began to litter the already shinning sky. Issei remained without saying anything more.

If Rio weren't holding his hand, he'd have thought that maybe he was dreaming. But her warm palm, her soft skin, it felt too real.

Indeed, he was a lonely person. He had no one except Rio and Shinji. Before them, he had no one.

The falling stars above shone brighter than the sun for those few seconds, before burning themselves to ash and disappearing, in silence, in darkness.

''Did you wish for anything?''

Issei asked her.

She hummed softly.

''I don't believe in stars granting wishes,'' she answered.

With the falling stars as his background, Issei let out a hearty laugh. Rio's grasp almost felt too hot, as the night wind ruffled his clothes and hair. It was just right.

* * *

It was half way to 4 am, when the magic began to settle. The stars fell back against the dark blue background. The sun was rising on the horizon, the break of dawn.

As Rio was getting up, Issei kept staring at the sky.

''Hey, come with me,'' she said, looking down, staring Issei in the eyes. Her expression was hardly emotional. Just blank, as usual. ''I've got something for you.''

Issei lips parted, as he looked at her from below. He wanted to make a bad joke about her giving him ''love'' or ''happiness'', but didn't. Such jokes suited Shinji more than him.

''I thought I'd give it to you at the end of this summer, but today will do. The stars have me in a good mood.''

Getting up, he too stretched. The trail back was barely lit, but enough for them to walk. This time Issei stared at her back, as she followed the trail. They barely said a word the whole way.

Issei himself felt out of it. Perhaps it was the hours of staring at stars, or maybe the lack of sleep, but it did feel like he had stepped into another dimension.

Just the two of them.

Soon, the orange hue overtook the sky. Trailing between trees, almost orange rays of light illuminated the trail, so they picked up the pace.

The city was dead. It was too late for regular street trash to party, and it was too early for the working crowd.

The whole city to them. They passed their favorite little cafe, which was still closed.

Issei froze up, and turned to the side. Rio, having taken a few more steps than him, spun on her heel, her narrow eyes staring through her eyebrows.

''Is Hana-san already up?'' - He asked, nodding his head towards a window on the second floor, where the lights were already on.

''...Probably. Cafes, that double as restaurants have a lot of things they need to get ready before opening,'' she answered, shrugging.

Issei nodded, his eyes equally as narrow as hers, before continuing their walk.

Rio's apartment was the same as before, if not a little bit messier. Leaning against the window sill, he awkwardly stood in her living room, waiting for Rio to return.

She came out of her room with a long object in her hand. Long, thin, and hidden into a black fabric sleeve. The end was tied with a thin, red rope. Raising her chin slightly higher than necessary, she looked at him. Slowly, a smile appeared on her lips.

Issei caught the object, as she threw it. After untying the rope, the fabric sleeve slid off, revealing that Issei was holding onto a katana's sheath, or rather, katana's _saya_ , as Rio had taught him. He spun it around, and grabbed into the handle.

Silent, he glanced at it. The sheath itself was dark blue, and something near the end of it had been carved out. It was also missing the usual decorative string that was usually tied around it. He gently moved it in his hand, the handle. The wrap was a simple, dark string. It also seemed like the handle itself was new. The metallic ring between the blade and the handle, the guard, was simply dark metal, not decorative at all. In fact, it was slightly damaged.

He looked up at Rio. Her blank expression didn't show Issei anything, and she simply nodded.

Issei grabbed into the sheath, and drew the sword out, half way. Near the guard, the etched in writing had been scraped off. He glanced at it, and tried to read what was once there, but couldn't succeed. He drew the sword, putting the mismatched sheath on the ground, on top of the previously fallen fabric sleeve. The spine of the sword wasn't black. The blade didn't dazzle in the gentle light. It looked like a regular katana. Used, abused, but taken care of and sharp.

It felt good in his hand. The handle fit his palm, and it felt tight and solid, but it didn't feel _right_ , as had the first katana he'd held – Rio's. He spun it around a bit, feeling the weight of it. Standing in the middle of the living room, he swung it once. It felt light in his hand, almost too light.

''...Doesn't feel as good as mine, huh,'' Rio commented, sitting on the edge of her couch.

''Ah, well...it still feels good to swing. Just your one felt...perfect,'' Issei answered, just staring at the sword in his hand.

''A sword like mine would be wasted on you,'' Rio answered, giving Issei a light chuckle. ''That one will have to do.''

Issei glanced back at her, his eyes widening. He asked the obvious. ''You're giving this one to me?''

''A nameless sword, for the ''non-existent'' student of the Juuzo School of Sword,'' she smirked. ''As you can see, I have filed off and destroyed the names and identification. It's one of our spares, the Juuzo family has a bunch of them. It's barely a sword of any worth, in the scheme of things. However, this sword is better than anything you, a regular guy, would ever get your hands on...well, except if you took a sword of an opponent's corpse, that is.''

Issei swallowed the saliva in his throat, looking at the serious expression that Rio had while speaking.

''Anyways, the previous handle was destroyed in battle. It was half-way repaired and left in our armory to rot. So I took it, tied a new wrap on the handle, and am giving it to you.''

Issei sheathed the sword, put it back into the sleeve, tying it off. Standing, he looked at Rio, who was sitting completely comfortable, her legs crossed.

''...I don't know what to say. Are you sure? Plus, it doesn't sound like you asked to take it, or...''

''Yeah, the family doesn't know. You could say I stole it...well, yeah, I did steal it. But I couldn't leave you, the hard working student of the Juuzo school without a sword. We all were given swords, when we proved ourselves good enough. Even you, _the illegitimate child of this family_ , deserve it.''

She laughed, as Issei's expression grew even more bewildered.

''Are you saying that I'm good enough to have a sword of the Juuzo School?''

''You're good enough to have _a_ sword,'' Rio corrected him, her eyes narrow. ''Emphasis on the A. Swords with actual history and worth...I wonder...''

It was a simple sentence.

He was good enough to hold a real sword. She probably didn't realize how much confirmation of skill mattered to him.

''...Thank you very much,'' He said, before bowing down to a 90 degree angle. ''I will take utmost care of it.''

Rio let out a playful laugh. ''You don't even know how to. I'll teach you, so don't worry. And stop being so stiff. I half did it because I keep finding ways to hurt my families pride because of you, haha.''

Issei scratched the behind of his head.

''Ah, of course, if anyone asks, it's not a sword that belonged to the Juuzo family. It never belonged to me, nor anyone else. You don't know anything about it. You found it under a bridge, or pulled it out of a rock or whatever.''

''What, am I king Arthur now?'' Issei asked, chuckling.

''Nah, I'm serious, they'd probably kill you,'' Rio spoke. ''Or they'd challange you to a duel, and you would show them you move like a Juuzo, and then they would kill you...''

He froze up for a second. Rio jumped to her feet, coming towards Issei. Her face, close, as she gently rubbed his head. He twitched at her touch.

'' _Just kidding_ ,'' her gentle voice whispered.

He let out a sigh of relief, lowering his head.

They stood there, in the silence. It wasn't awkward, but comfortable. The wrapped sword in his left hand. It felt assuring, to him.

They both turned their heads in unision, to look outside the window. It was a regular summer morning. Her slender hand rustled his hair, gently. That world of the Milky Way was nowhere to be found anymore, but still...

''...You know, Rio, I...-''

''You shouldn't give up on that girl this easily,'' Rio didn't let him finish his own sentence, interrupting him.

He stepped back, quite violently. Rio's arm remained in the air for a second, before she lowered it, smiling gently.

So she knew his feelings, Issei thought. He had told her about Irina before. He had been carried away, and acted out. He had tried to speak of his feelings to her, without giving a second thought about her own.

He had almost confessed that he had feelings for her. She on the other hand, easily found the best way to defuse the situation.

 _Stupid fucking asshole,_ he thought of himself, to himself.

''...I should probably get going.''

Rio shrugged, her expression calm as always. Her gestures, normal as always. She knew what he wanted to say, and yet, she acted as if nothing had happened.

''It is very late, indeed,'' she said, sheepishly. ''Or perhaps, early.''

He was already moving towards the doors when she answered. Exiting out in the hallway, he looked back at her, as she stood by the door, in that same sundress. Tilting her head to the side, she smiled gently. Her fringe fell across one of her eyes. Then her eyes went back to her usual cold glance.

''Let's move training to 11 am, maybe?''

''...Yeah. Let's...move it. Ah, thanks again...for the sword, and I'm sorry, for, you know...''

''It's fine. Don't worry about it.''

She gave him one last nod, and the shut the door.

Issei's remained standing, staring at the closed door.

How could have he let himself be carried away so easily? She had enchanted him. Or maybe the stars were to be blamed. But she rejected him in the most gentle way possible. She saved him some self respect.

In the end, he was nothing but a child. He hadn't grown up at all. Such a move only proved it.

He took the sword sleeve, and hanged it on his own shoulder, using the string than ran from one end to the other. The sword itself rested down against his back. Grasping his face, he sighed and began to walk.

She was to be blamed, Issei thought in anger, for showing him so much kindness. She had to know better than to show such kindness to a lonely person like himself.

And yet, those days of not being alone, of being together, of training...had spoiled him.

He had started to take that kindness for granted.

He had become weak against loneliness, against being alone.

Not again. He wouldn't make such a mistake ever again. Feelings made you vulnerable. Connections with people made them able to hurt you, even if they didn't mean to hurt you. Even if they weren't to be blamed for the pain.

And if you couldn't be hurt, then you were the fucking strongest.

He stopped in an alleyway, crouching down against a wall.

 _'...What are you even doing? Did you forget why you are even here?'_ He asked himself.

 _'Don't go on living like you're some normal person, retard,'_ he told himself.

 _'Regular happiness - have you gone completely insane?'_ his own voice, in his own head asked.

Issei Hyoudou had one purpose. To become and an exorcist, and to go see Irina Shidou.

 _'Why are you wasting time?'_

He stepped outside of the alleyway, and bumped into some early businessman. He glanced at him, but didn't say anything and walked away with wide eyes, almost as if afraid of him.

He turned to the side, looking at his own reflection in a window. Long, wild hair. An expression of contempt. A sword on his back, his narrow, loathsome eyes, blank, staring through his messy fringe.

 _'And who are you suppose to be?'_ He asked the reflection of himself.

He grabbed into the cross around his neck. His eyes almost rolled into the top of his head, the expression on his face morphing into anger, and then into almost a deranged smile, as he laughed. Loudly, he laughed to himself on the public street.

He calmed down after a few seconds, and smiled, chuckling to himself.

His voice, cold, he said only a single word.

''Dipshit.''

* * *

 _Writers notes._

 _Been a while. Sorry. I can only blame myself, for being lazy and ''not being in the mood to write''. No real excuses, i'm a piece of shit. I promise to try to keep a more regular interval of posting, teehee._

 _A very close knit chapter of Issei's feelings and Rio. He burned bright and then he burned out. Like a shooting star. Our boy got rejected. That must have hurt._

 _Next chapter, stuff will begin to fall into their rightful places. I promise. Sorry, if this chapter was boring._

 _ **Also, if anyone who reads me is a fan of Tokyo Ghoul, and has finished all of Tokyo Ghoul:RE - the manga(!), you can check out my Tokyo Ghoul:RE oneshot about Takizawa Seidou. I felt kind of at home writing for Tokyo Ghoul.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading, and leave a review, anything at all!**_


	6. Mask

_**CHAPTER 5:Mask**_

She was a tomboy. There was no doubt about it. Irina was. For a while Issei even thought that she was a boy, when they had played. But in a way, that was a reason for why he had liked her, back then.

She wasn't like the other girls. She wasn't afraid to get dirty, to play ball, or even to wrestle around. She was fun. She didn't think boys were idiots. She was always down to go outside, to go up into the mountain, to search for beetles, or to crush cicadas. She was his best friend, but a girl.

She was cute as a button. Even with the short hair, and boyish smile. It took a while, but when Issei finally realized his feelings, he noticed every little thing about her. Her smile, her expression of anger. Even the awkward way she spoke to grown ups, and the boyish way she walked - it was just cute.

Of course, He and her, both of them were innocent and pure, like the snow. And their childhood crush, that little love, was only pure. Only the love of kids could possibly be that pure and unsoiled. It could never be defiled. Feelings of kids, at that age, never had any filter or any loathsome intent. They said what they thought, and they expressed only what they felt. The most wholesome emotions. A childrens' picture book love story.

But that was a long time ago. Almost half of his life ago.

That childish love only existed in children's tales, after all.

In that same way, Rio was also different. She was cold and distant. She didn't seem to care about many a thing. She just...had an aura that made you feel just your existence alone was a bother to her. In that way, her personality was boyish. That delinquent-like glance that she viewed the world through was usually found on boys. In fact, especially the girls of the Osaka Branch Exorcists – they were proper, girlish or perhaps - feminine. Also the fact that many of them came from rich families helped that fact, of course. Long skirts, mature hair-cuts, uniforms at all times, etc. Studied in groups, never missed class. Proper, mature, young ladies.

It wasn't like Issei had anything against the girls of his class. As he had never spoken to them, nor had they ever spoken to him. Rio was the only exception.

He had lived for a long time, without saying much. Only after starting to speak with Rio and Shinji, had he realized how starved for speaking and interaction he really was. Words flowed, and he couldn't really stop them. He just wanted to interact.

He was weak, in that regard. For someone who was alone so much, he was also lonely. Starved of affection, starved of touch. He was a person who craved the interaction.

He wished he wasn't a person like that. He wished he wasn't that weak. But he was - that was a fact.

He didn't know what to think of it all - if Shinji and Rio hadn't come into his life, perhaps he would have grown to become strong alone. Or perhaps, he would be so starved of conversation and camaraderie that he would have gone crazy.

He had fallen in love with 2 out of the 3 girls that had ever showed him any affection, after all. Irina and Rio. The third girl was the twenty-something year old Hana-san, the waitress. He wasn't in love with her. She was not only much older, but also doing her work, in a way. He was a customer, of course.

But in any case, 2 out of 3 was not good at all.

Perhaps he was just a damaged person who would fall in love with anyone who would ever be kind to him.

He stood there, in that same abandoned saw mill as always. His worn out t-shirt stuck to his skin, drenched in sweat. His arms trembled, and his healed bite injury seemed to almost pulse. It looked out of place and foreign on his otherwise smooth skin.

He couldn't even remember how many swings of his sword he had done. It was probably in the thousands.

His hair taken back into a messy bun at the back, sweat was dripping into his eye.

As always, his mind wandered as he trained.

Swinging a real sword felt much different than that training wooden sword.

It wasn't as if it was harder to swing it, in fact, it was probably easier, because it was lighter than the wooden swords that they used. But there was a certain amount of responsibility and seriousness to it all.

He was training to kill. Every swing of his sword was to become better at it. He wished to become good at killing. At overpowering his opponents. With those wooden swords, there was some amount of thought that always let you think of it as only training. As make-belief. As a game, almost.

But now, it was serious. It was a real sword. He had already cut himself with it, when he lowered it too close to his own leg. Some dried blood still remained on his knee.

He stopped swinging it overhead, and lowered the sword to his side. He took a few deep breaths, before collapsing on the ground, crossing his legs. One palm holding his head up, his eyes tracing the spine of his blade.

That extremely sharp blade had already taken lives. Humans and devils, most likely. Frankly, he didn't exactly know what to think of it all.

The Juuzo family. The Juuzo School of Sword. He was being taught the same way she had been. Those same moves, that same mindset. And now – he was given a sword. Her lackadaisical attitude towards it all – it did worry him, after all.

It was very serious. The school of Juuzo was well known, old, influential and rich. Noble roots of samurai _of those days_. They lived by that old-school creed. He assumed that people who shamed the famlily of Juuzo actually did commit seppuku.

And he was just a bastard who was being taught their secrets. Someone who had no right towards that knowledge. Towards that experience and power. He was a thief without any shame or honor.

...and yet, he didn't want to stop. A year ago, he didn't even dream of having the ability to use a sword. It hadn't taken him long, for that sword that to feel good in his hands.

It didn't feel foreign or wrong.

And on the flip side of it all, he wanted for it to continue just because it was Rio. The training was a reason to spend time together. The training was a reason to listen to her soft voice, as she spoke about technique, about his flaws, about anything, really.

And in the end, he was sure that he simply wasn't a good person. Even if he had no right to learn from Rio, even if he was stealing and being dishonorable, he didn't care. He accepted anything he could to get ahead. And such an opportunity as this, it came only once in a lifetime.

Letting his upper body fall backwards, he laid in the grass, staring at the sky.

''Damn, you're really tanned. Like, Okinawa tanned.''

Issei heard that familiar voice to the side of himself. Turning his head, it revealed no one other than Shinji.

''Weren't you suppose to come back in like a few more days?'' Issei asked him, instead.

''It wasn't set in stone,'' He waved his hand. ''I wanted to come back sooner, to spend some last days of summer with Rio.''

''Ah, yeah, that sounds pretty lovely. A pretty romantic end of the summer, for example...'' Issei smirked, mischievously. ''Like, going to swim together with her, and then sleeping in the soft grass, watching the shooting stars. Something like that, huh...''

''...You little rascal...'' he shouted, instantly realizing what exactly Issei was implying. ''I'm gonna cry!'

He wiped a giant crocodile tear off from his cheek. Issei was apparently a lot more tanned, while Shinji seemed the same as ever. And their inconsequential banter hadn't changed one bit. He looked to Issei's side, perplexed for a second.

''...whose sword is that?''

''Mine,'' Issei answered, glancing past Shinji.

''Hmm,'' He hummed. ''I wonder where you got it...''

''I climbed the highest mountain in the forest and fought an 8 headed snake. When I ripped it's tail off, it turned into this sword.''

''Are you Susano now?!'' He rolled his eyes, grabbing the sword. ''And this, is it suppose to be the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi? Very underwhelming looking, bro.''

Issei tilted his head to the side, and in a single motion, jumped up and grabbed it out of his hands.

''...well, you know...those legends get blown out of proportion.''

''I get it, I get it, I won't ask,'' he sighed. ''You got any of those training swords around? If you have a sword, I assume that you can use it, huh.''

Issei nodded.

A few minutes later, they stood across from each other. Issei took his ''battle'' stance, his body slightly shifted to the right side, sword raised up. Shinji, on the other hand, stood in a relaxed manner, the wooden sword at his side.

He winked, before lunging at Issei. A half a second later, his eyes widened, because Issei had stepped forwards as well. Before the summer break, usually Issei was the one to fall back. Perhaps his training had rewarded him with some confidence, Shinji thought.

He dodged a bit, letting Issei attack, before striking back. His relaxed and unorthodox way of swinging messed Issei up for a little bit, as he began to dodged haphazardly.

Rio had a very certain charm to her way of the sword. Graceful beauty that balanced right on the edge of her all-cutting sword. The Juuzo school was beautiful, in that way. While Shinji, he felt like someone who just used everything that he could. His movement didn't flow the way Issei thought it should flow. It was as if ten different people had trained him to do the same thing. He mixed up moves and combos that weren't suppose to go together. But it worked. Only, as when mixing colors up, in the end, you always end up with ugly brown.

It was still a pretty lopsided fight in that way. Shinji overwhelmed him with relative ease.

''You've improved a lot, kid. Good job.''

Shinji spoke, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Issei scoffed, his chest raising up and down from his labored breathing. He was, after all, still tired from all of his training.

''...Hey, what school of sword were you trained in? Or did you have a teacher?''

Issei asked Shinji, having realized he'd never asked him such things. Shinji looked at him dumbfounded, for a second. Then a bashful smile appeared on his face.

''No school of sword. No one, well, mostly no one does something so old-school anymore. My family got me trainers. Nowadays, everything like that is optimized, you know. Databases of knowledge about what is the most effective.''

''...when fighting, you just seem to move very...fiendishly. Out of rhythm,'' Issei pondered, looking past Shinji, into the woods.

''Well, if you can notice that Shinji's movements are disgusting, then maybe you've got more talent than I thought.''

Both boys turned their heads towards the female voice.

Rio raised her right hand, doing a two finger salute towards them. Shinji then proceeded to hug her, which she accepted with a more dead-fish than usual look in her eyes.

Issei stood there, awkwardly.

''I don't understand what you dislike about my movement,'' Shinji scoffed, over-exaggerating. ''It's perfectly normal.''

''It's repulsive,'' Rio glanced at Issei, side-eyeing him. ''Because your way of sword is just a homunculus of sword arts of many different schools, countries, sword types, etc. You can't just mix it together and expect it to look good. Right, Issei?''

He twitched, and looked at her. She had the same cold expression as always. Pulling him into the conversation, unlike always.

''Yeah. I didn't think of it that way, huh,'' Issei answered with his half-non-answer answer. Like always.

Everything was like always.

Just normal.

' _How the fuck are you able to act so normal!?_ ' He screamed inside his mind. Just like 8 hours ago she had rejected his stupid confession. Was his feelings so worthless to her that it didn't leave a smudge of impact on her emotions? Or was she just so mature that she did everything in her power so he could feel comfortable, and not awkward as hell in front of her?

He couldn't tell, and didn't know what to think. So he...just looked at the sky for a bit and walked off towards his bag. That same azure sky, almost cloudless, remained above his head. Taking a bottle of water from his bag, he poured it over his own face, before drinking what was left.

Rio stood there, with her side to Shinji who was going on about something that had happened to him over the summer break. She nodded a bit, and answered every once in a while. Shinji, as always, smiled as he looked down on her slender statue.

Maybe Shinji had grown even taller than before over the summer break. It sure looked like it. He picked up his sheathed sword, took it out, and began to do his practice swings again. His arms felt numb, back muscle were pulsating in pain, and yet, only when he was in pain, could he stop overthinking things. Or perhaps his anger was what motivated him.

He felt a slender, light touch on his shoulder sometime later. It was Rio, of course. She glanced deep inside his eyes.

''Hey, for how long have you been at it?' She asked.

''At least a few hours when I arrived. His arms gave out,'' Shinji answered, after Issei didn't.

''...I thought we promised to meet at 11 to train together,'' She said, softly. Almost as if hurt.

''I couldn't sleep well,'' Issei answered, looking downwards, trying to escape those abyss-like eyes.

''Did something happen while I was gone?'' Shinji asked, his expression unusually serious.

Rio stared at him through her scowl, but smiled. ''We stared at the milky way together.''

''You know how it is with me,'' Issei glanced at him, reassuringly. ''It's unusual if I _can_ sleep, after all.''

Shinji tilted his head to the side, before Rio spoke up.

''Well, it's enough training for you. Me and Shinji are gonna spar, and you take a very close look at me. At how I move, and why I move. Particularly at my legs. It's all about the legs.''

''...and hips,'' Shinji added, and stepped a few feet away from her. That seriousness was gone already.

Issei let out a fake chuckle at his, as usual, crude joke.

''...and look at Shinji's head, when I break it open. I bet nothing is in there,'' Rio added, as she picked up the wooden training sword from the ground.

And then, Shinji and Rio began to spar. Rio was even more aggressive than usual, and he couldn't tell if it was because she was angry at Shinji, or just because she wanted to show how to fight people who moved in an unpredictable way.

The difference between Rio and Shinji was even larger now. Ever since that fight with the first devil she slayed, Rio's fighting prowess had grown. And now, he was sure that she was a lot better than Shinji. Despite his huge build, his power, and his age, she was, for sure, stronger.

Her slender movements danced around his crass attacking. And when she struck, he dodged as if in panic. Issei didn't blame Shinji from dodging as if in fear.

That strike of hers would indeed shatter his skull with that wooden sword, if connected. This friendly sparring was beyond training. When two fighters were at their levels, all safety was out of the window. Especially with wooden swords. Issei's body was covered with wounds of a training sword, after all.

Shinji exhaled, and wound up an attack from beneath. As it was about to hit, Rio used only one leg to spin herself into the air, sideways. The sword went beneath her face, right about as she was upside down, mid-air.

Landed, she and Shinji were both right inside each-other's guards. Shinji's wide-eyes betrayed his surprise, as Rio's foot went deep inside his side, as she blocked his kick with the butt of her wooden sword. Even with core training, nothing protected his ribs. He hit the ground, going with the flow of Rio's kick, trying to avoid fractures.

She stood there, not moving for a second. Shinji jumped back up, and raised up his t-shirt, looking at his side, tenderly touching his ribs.

A red imprint was already there.

''I think if we keep up training so hard we're gonna seriously injure each other soon,'' Shinji spoke. ''Your agility never fails to surprise me.''

''Sorry, I got carried away,'' Rio scoffed, and dropped the wooden sword, that she had kept at her side.

Looking over her shoulder, back at Issei, she spoke up. ''Keep up, kid.''

Sitting there, his legs crossed under himself, he wished he was as talented as his two friends. And at the same time, he wished he had more time to train. Or perhaps, he wished he was from a family who would have taught him to fight from the very beginning of his life.

* * *

And so, the summer passed.

Rio was stronger than ever. Shinji had grown taller. Issei had become tanned, and started to pull his hair back, into a messy bun at the back of his head. Hana-san, the waitress of the little cafe they often visited, said he looked like a samurai. He assumed that it was more because of his sword, that he kept carrying with himself, on his back, hidden in that fabric cover, rather than his hair.

He couldn't decide where to keep that sword. Because it was a shared dorm, he didn't really have anywhere private that he was sure he could keep it. Nakamura, his bully, knew where he lived. In the end, he had decided that carrying it with him, most of the time, was the best option. And because it was covered with a sheath of fabric, it didn't attract that many eyes – most people probably just assumed he was carrying a kendo practice sword.

With the summer behind his back, the exorcist specialization classes started. History. Wars. Notable devils and fallen angels. Effective ways of killing devils, demons, monsters. Rules of engagement. Bible study. Because everyone now had the free time to focus 100% on just exorcist training, the teachers and instructors pulled out all of the stops. The real training began then.

And well, physical training. Ability to actually combat devils.

Your normal middle school would probably have you run laps around the football field, and then you'd have to play ball with your friends.

So Issei chuckled to himself. Of course, it wasn't the first time he had to do this. But he still found it funny, every time. Usually this test of prowess happened only once a year, but from that year, apparently, it would become almost monthly.

Dozens of 14 to 15 year old teenagers were standing to the side, while two more teenagers sparred with rubberized training swords, in the middle. Their instructor stood pretty close, keeping an eye on them. Both were girls, dressed in tight fitting training clothes.

Issei stood alone, a bit further than the rest. He stood out from the rest, if only because he was wearing just regular sneakers, joggers and a hoodie that was too large for him. Bottom half of his face covered with a medical mask, and the hidden sword on his shoulder.

He stared through his eyebrows at the two weren't bad, but...it was very mechanical. Their fighting was like a dance too, but not in the same way that Rio fought. It was almost choreographed, almost a partner dance performance, and in about 3 minutes their 'dance' had ended.

He closed his eyes, exhaling through his nose.

All together, he knew that both of these girls were pretty high up the rankings. In the previous physical training rankings, and especially academically. Just your regular rich girls, from rich families with everything that came with such resources – trainers and teachers. They were a dime a dozen, in his school.

''Issei, you heard me?''

He hadn't.

The whole class was looking at him, when he raised his head. The instructor sighed, his hands in his pockets. He was a towering man, dressed in a tracksuit.

''You're up next. Against Haruto.''

Issei looked around, to notice who was his opponent. His glance flowed until he met Nakamura's glance. His very own personal bully, was smirking. A wide grin, narrow eyes. A boy next to him stepped forwards. Their little group all laughed to each-other.

\- Haruto.

One of Nakamura's lackeys. A boy who was pretty tall for his age, but a bit ungainly. His hair naturally dirty-ish blond, so he probably wasn't full-japanese.

He stepped forwards, taking one of the rubberized training swords from the instructor. As soon as the instructor turned his back towards his opponent, he smirked, showing his teeth. One hand inside his pocket, he held the sword with confidence.

Right. Haruto.

That Haruto, who was well above the class average, especially in the physical training department, Issei finally recalled.

''Take off that darn mask and jumper,'' the instructor spoke, as soon as Issei began to move forwards. ''Didn't you hear me saying to dress in clothing that would allow me see your movement clearly?''

Issei froze up for a second, the glances of his whole class made his body come down with sweat that felt like ants crawling all across his back. With a scoff that almost imitated Rio, he pulled his mask off, and then took of his hoodie. He cracked his neck, looking at his own disfigured arm, standing there in his black and white, stripped t-shirt.

He felt pain in his disfigured arm.

A second later, he realized that the pain that he felt was nothing but his mind playing tricks on him, even if the wound was still bluish-pink. So he looked away and grabbed the rubberized training sword.

He moved it around with one hand, feeling the weight of it. It was lighter than the wooden ones he had used. He touched the ''sharp'' edge. Even if rubber, it was clear that if you used it seriously, it could easily harm your opponent. And most of all, it felt completely different to hold that sword, than it had a year ago. It was balanced quite poorly, he thought.

And judging from Nakamura's glance, he was up to something. Issei easily imagined what it was, exactly - 'accidentally' injuring him, in front of the whole class. He was sure that he had put up Haruto to actually injure him. To humiliate him.

His head tilted downwards, Issei took a relaxed stance, and deeply exhaled.

Their instructor stepped back, and raised his arm. And then after a beep of a stopwatch, he lowered it.

The first swing almost hit Issei. He realized that something was wrong. Whenever he sparred with Rio or Shinji he felt a rush of adrenaline. He was never able to stay calm when training with them. His heart usually raced the moment it started, and yet, now, in front of all of his classmates, against someone who was a lot better ranked than him...

Even lost in thought, he stepped backwards, dodging a few more times, spinning around himself, and changing directions. Not even looking straight at his opponent, he hadn't raised his sword, as he moved.

''Huh,'' Issei spoke to himself. As he dodged once more, leaning back quite aggresively, he noticed his own golden cross, swing above his t-shirt, just in peripheral vision.

He stopped in his tracks, and began to block his attacks. The rubber-plastic impacts reverberated in his grasp. After a particular swing from his opponent, Issei stepped forwards, deflected his attack to the side, and struck Haruto in the arm.

Issei's oponent jumped back, anger swelling in his expression.

With a deep exhale, Haruto dashed at him. Issei smirked, and moved forwards. Just as his opponent dashed into his guard, Issei's left leg raised, and slammed downwards, onto his opponents raising knee. Haruto had telegraphed his 'surprise kick' way too much. Issei had noticed it coming a few moves before he even raised his leg.

Haruto's eyes went wide, in surprise. As he jumped backwards, Issei's leg slammed down on the ground, and his other leg extended and caught Haruto in the side. After that, the instant both of Issei's legs were on the ground, his sword went up above his head, and he swung down, towards Haruto, who was holding his side, bent over.

The neck was uncovered, after all.

The instructor pushed him backwards, and he almost fell over. He felt a swelling hotness on his chest, from the instructor's large palm hitting him.

And then, the sound came back, and a little bit after that, the onlookers appeared in his peripheral vision. Only then he realized that he had tried to decapitate his classmate with a rubber sword.

He threw the sword to the ground. Anxiety swelled up in his chest. Too many people were looking at him, with expressions that to him, seemed to be distraught. He grabbed his golden cross, hanging above his t-shirt.

''Hyoudou...who taught you?''

The instructors voice boomed. Haruto was holding his side in pain, his wide eyes staring at Issei.

The other kids in his class were talking among themselves. And Nakamura...his eyes showed pure evil. The trio he had knocked out back in winter was there too, one of them whispering something into his ear.

So Issei scoffed, staring through his eyebrows. ''I-It…was training that I did outside of school time, so it's not particularly your business, right?''

He lingered, staring at his instructor, who did the same in return. The laugh lines of his face turned deeper, as he exhaled deeply. Looking at Haruto, then at Nakamura, and back at Issei, he just nodded.

''Next, step up.''

Turning his back on them all, he picked up his clothes, and stepped even further back. Rio, as always, were nowhere to be found in that class. His legs didn't shake, nor did his arms. His breath wasn't labored at all.

What kind of a 'way of the sword' was that?

Was that really an exorcist in training?

* * *

He stood there, arms in his pockets, the sword, hidden inside a cloth sheath, hanged at his back. His head tilted upwards, he glanced at the list posted on the wall. Everyone else was long gone from the main building. After all, it was noon. All classes had ended.

Issei Hyoudou.

His own name was on that list. And beneath his name, were a bunch of his classmates names'. It was a class ranking listing. He wasn't at the bottom.

''So tell me, _dead last_ , how does it feel to not be dead last anymore?''

He turned his head to the side. Rio stood there, her hands at the sides of her ankle length skirt. She was indeed, in her school uniform. It felt almost odd, to see her in such clothing, after the whole summer.

''...Odd.''

She nodded, ''Good job.''

Slapping him on the shoulder, she turned around and her steps began to move away, echoing over the empty hall.

''I almost got hit in the face first swing, because I didn't realize the fight had started,'' Issei spoke, turned to the side, facing Rio's back.

She stopped, and not turning around, asked. ''And?''

''It wasn't because I was spacing out.''

Rio let out a boyish laugh. ''Well yeah. You just didn't think that he was a threat, so your instinct didn't kick in. Your body, and you, unconsciously, knew that you could kill him.''

''But...'' Issei stammered.

''That is what strength feels like, Issei,'' Rio returned to walking away. ''But don't let it go to your head.''

Issei remained there, looking at her moving statue.

The difference between his training with Rio and Shinji was probably the factor of fear, in the end. He was sure his heartbeat hadn't raised above 60. In the end, Haruto just looked like a dipshit with a toy sword, and nothing more. Just as much 'playing' as the two other girls who looked like they were rehearsing a dance.

So Issei laughed, once again, to himself.

* * *

And that was how it went, from thereafter. Days turned into weeks. And weeks, into months. No one bothered him anymore. No one even as much as looked at him.

He spent his days like a ghost, unnoticed in class. He took a little break off from training, but returned to training with Shinji and Rio right after. Rio was in charge of his sword training, while Shinji was more 'overall' training, like striking and grappling. Though, he never passed up the opportunity to roll with Rio too, who, unsurprisingly, was great at grappling as well. Her flexibility was a great asset, as he couldn't really lock out her joints that well.

And in such, he could truthfully say he was fine with that, because it meant that Nakamura didn't bully him anymore. But he wasn't a fool, so he knew that something was probably brewing. Slowly, slowly. All that remained were menacing glares at each other.

But he knew his bully pretty well, so he never let his guard down. He didn't allow himself to be lulled into a state of false security.

''...Maybe it's because you look like a thug and carry around a sword?'' Hana-san, the waitress, spoke to him.

It was a pretty early morning, as he sat in his favorite little cafe shop. Barren and empty, and with nothing else to do, Hana-san was resting with him - sitting across from him, her fringe pulled back, uncovering her forehead.

''He's the thug. Thugs aren't afraid of other thugs,'' Issei answered, exhaling.

''Well, they are if the other thug is stronger,'' she answered, tilting her head to the side, looking past him.

After another quick look at the front door, she slouched over the desk, stretching her arms almost to Issei's side. He didn't react, and continued to eat his light breakfast.

''...I'm not quite sure I am,'' Issei spoke up. ''It's not like he's some push-over.''

''Then maybe he grew up a little and realized that bullying people is pathetic,'' Hana-san spoke up, her forehead against the desk. Her voice came out a little bit muffled.

''Yeah right,'' Issei cringed. ''That guy is straight up evil.''

''Well, you do only see the negative in this, in people,'' Hana-san spoke. ''Did all the people in your life hurt you? Did they really?''

Issei looked sideways, hiding his face behind his arms, because he himself didn't even know what kind of an expression he was making.

' _Haha_ ,' he laughed to himself, inside his head.

''You should use this opportunity to make more friends, if he doesn't bother you anymore. Open up to people a little, don't hide behind that literal mask all the time. Act more like a kid.''

Issei didn't say a word to that.

Hana-san raised her head, looking at him, so Issei turned his face away from her.

''You know yourself that Rio and Shinji are going to go ahead of you. They will go and become amazing exorcists and leave you behind. And when that happens, who will you have? This old, boring waitress that's talking your ears off?''Hana-san sighed, lowering her head again.

''You're gonna be a lonely boy, that's for sure...''

Issei didn't answer for a while, almost frozen in thought. Resting his chin on his palm, his eyes turned to one side, staring at nothing.

''...I'm gonna live on,'' Issei spoke, his voice barely audible. ''And I'm gonna cut down anyone in my way.''

''Life is precious, no matter whose. I understand that you will be an exorcist, so I'm not not surprised, but you are way too young to think of life in terms of killing to get further, to kill for living,'' Hana-san tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing down, her voice and expression become less and less like her's. ''...I thought exorcists were suppose to protect the people, not just slaughter and take lives.''

''Devils _need_ to be killed to protect people,'' Issei answered, unemotional. ''To them, we are like cows, after all. Or even worse, bugs.''

''Well, it certainly is easy to throw ' _kill_ ' around when you are speaking. The actual act of doing so, is different. I really hope you will realize how heavy that word and the consequences to the act are.''

''I know the consequences of killing a person,'' Issei spoke, not looking at Hana-san. ''...The pain that is brought to those left behind. Don't take my words lightly.''

Hana-san's eyes opened wider, and then she placed her hands in front of her mouth, agape.

''...I'm sorry,'' Hana-san said, her voice remorseful. ''I understand it now. My mouth is sometimes too big, and I speak too much, hurting people in the process.''

Hana-san apologized with a pained expression. From Issei's word, she realized what he was implying. Maybe not fully, but the semantics didn't matter. The idea did.

''...No it's fine,'' Issei sighed. ''I consider you a good friend, so it would have come out eventually.''

She smiled. ''...Of course we're friends! Or maybe you are more like a little brother.''

Issei laughed. ''It seems like I've been put as a ''little brother'' type. Shinji thinks the same of me.''

''Well, seeing you always makes me want to protect you. Go out and scream at the world, asking who it was who was responsible, so I can kick their ass!''

Issei's answered her with a bewildered expression. ''Huh?''

''Well, you know, I guess you look angry all the time from other's point of view, but because I know you, it just seems like you're always sad. And that makes me sad.''

Issei looked downwards, his shoulders drooping down.

''See! There you go again!'' Hana-san exclaimed. ''Don't make me sad!''

And then, they laughed.

In the end, all of his glaring and angry expressions that he showed the world couldn't hide the simply fact that he was a small boy, beaten down by the world. Pitiful, in a word.

''It's fine. I'll smile extra wide whenever you're looking then,'' Issei answered, lighthearted.

''That's more like it,'' she answered.

There was a small pause in the coffee shop. Silence. Issei drove his palm through his hair, before getting up.

''I've spent my free time. I'll get going,'' he said, hanging his sheathed sword on his shoulder.

''Yeah,'' Hana-san answered, getting up as well. ''Well, you know...I'm always down to listen to what you have on your mind, or in your heart. I know it doesn't seem that way, but I'm a grown up! With bills and a job and all. So I can give you advice.''

Issei, having half-turned away, smiled at her. ''I'll keep that in mind, Hana-san.''

After a small two-finger wave that Shinji always did, he exited the small cafe. Out on the street, people were starting to bustle. A red hue extended in the sky, behind the commercial buildings across the street. A couple of cars passed, as he looked. His hands inside his pockets, he pulled out his usual medical face-mask and put it on.

Looking at the sky, his brown eyes narrowed down. Only behind the mask could he hide two thirds of his face.

Two thirds of his sadness. The last third, his eyes, he could make them look angry.

And angry was better than sad.

Because sadness was weakness, but anger was wrath.

And wrath was strength, even if it was a sin.

* * *

 _Author's notes._

 _So, there's this chapter. It's a bit shorter, but well, at least It didn't take two months for me to update. I'm closing in on the end of exorcist training. Next chapter is not gonna be a good one for my dear my Issei. In this chapter Issei learns the difference between talent combined with hard work, and just talent, and just hard work._

 _To H21H \- Thanks for the lovely review! Well, I'm not a native English speaker, and with me reading so much Japanese authored stuff that is translated into English, I wouldn't be surprised that it seeps into my writing!_

 _To Parker \- I wonder for how long you've been reading my works, since I can't tell with you leaving a review without a profile. But thanks a lot. And yeah, the knife throwing skill he has will help him, that's for sure._

 _To merendinoemiliano \- Thanks! I'm really trying to characterize and flesh out Issei quite heavily in this fic, so if you say that he feels more human, than I am exactly happy!_

 _To Warrybeetle \- Sorry for not getting back to you sooner, but yeah, I don't do BETA readers. I'm not saying I don't need them, but I just don't want them, keke. Thanks for the offer, anyways._

Thanks for the reviews, again, and thanks for reading. Till next time!


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